Bad Company
by Ceeceecj
Summary: Alessa is a MP soldier who LOVES her side job of getting intel and collecting debts by torture. It is decided that she transfers the the Corps to spy on and eventually kill Eren, except for one major hiccup in her plans, Captain Levi. Never being one for "love" or anything like that, she needs to figure out if she can still kill Eren or if being in the Corps is her real destiny.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Attack on Titan or any of the characters except my own O.C.s.**

 **This is my first chapter to my newest Levi story so please I hope you enjoy it and feel free to give any criticism good or bad!**

 **THANK YOU: Frantastic1993 you are so awesome and thank you for helping me edit and go over this story. If anyone hasn't read her stuff, please go check them out, they are amazing and the inspirations to this story. They are listed below:**

 **Chained Wings - Red Burning Wings - Flight From Darkness**

* * *

All of this red makes me want to paint. I think it would be a fun hobby to take on. A grin plays its way onto my lips as I think about it. Finger painting; I would be good at that since I happen to be good with my hands; really good. The loud sobs of my prisoner drew me back to my current situation, completely ruining the picture in my head. I was growing rather bored with this useless man by the second. The roughly 50 year old man glanced up at me from his kneeling position on the floor, tears flowing down his face as he shook like a leaf. I watched him as he raised his hands pleading me not to hit him in the face again. Slowly I took a handkerchief out from my pocket, wiping the blood that managed to splash my face. I guess painting will have to wait, how tedious.

"Okay, okay I'll talk, just please, d-don't hit me." He whimpered, the blood from his mouth dropping to the floor like sprinkling rain as he spoke. I crossed my arms, leaning back against the cell bars, waiting for him to speak. He took a few shaky breaths before speaking again. "I…I did steal the money…" he flinched as I rose from the bars quickly. "But please let me explain!" He cried out. "I only did it to feed my family. My son is very sick, so my wife had to quit her nursing job to stay home and take care of him. With my income alone, we haven't been able to eat in days!"

I stared down at him, my light hazel eyes boring into him like the heat of flames. I've heard this same story so many times. It isn't like I don't feel bad for those who can't provide, but I can't stand everybody using the same excuse to get out of their bad situations.

"You do realize who it is you stole from right? You can't just take what isn't yours without consequences and quite frankly, stealing from my father was probably the stupidest decision of your life." I sigh loudly and roll my eyes. "He really wants me to hang you and make an example out of you, but I think I can teach you a real lesson…" His eyes widened as I swung my leg around kicking the man to the floor, stomping hard against his face and body. His cries slowly died out as I knocked him completely unconscious, his blood pooling all around him as well as splattered like paint on the walls. Oh yea…I want to try painting. I grab another handkerchief and wipe the blood off my hands as I leave the man's cell, the guards slamming it shut hard behind me.

"Do me a favor gents, leave him in there to heal up for the next few days, and then let him go back to his family. Please let me know if he tries this again, because next time I will kill him." The guards nodded, saluting me as I left the cells from under the MP headquarters. I needed a damn shower; I needed to get all of this blood off my hands. I slowly lathered my body with the soap, the suds turning pink and sliding down to the drain swirling around with the water. I suppose in times like this, watching it all wash away, I should feel regret, or sympathy. Someone's life was washing down the gutter at my feet. But I don't. I never did. This was what I was good at, and a bonus was the damn good pay, and the enjoyment from teaching people their mistakes. That stained water was nothing more than a day's work being washed off, like any field worker or Scout Soldier, a garrison man or fellow MP, we were no different. I just enjoyed my job more than them. The door to the showers slammed open and I roll my eyes behind the curtain of my stall. I hated when my showers were interrupted.

"Alessa! Hurry the heck up, we're going to miss the damn trial!" I growled at the sound of my brother's voice.

"Ugh, just hand me a towel then, Jason." A hand peeked behind the curtain with the towel. I grabbed it angrily, wrapping it around me before stepping out of the shower. "I forgot about the trial all right? What d'you think is going to happen to the kid?" I questioned as Jason followed me to my large room. He sat on the bed as I stepped behind my room divider to change.

"Honestly, I hope the freak gets shot. Humans turning into titans shouldn't be a thing. We should cut him up like the disgusting titan he is." The venom dripped from Jason's voice menacingly.

"Ok, so playing devil's advocate here, what if he was useful to humanity? What if he could kill all these titans for us, or even control them into leaving, wouldn't it be good to keep him alive?" I pull the last of my uniform on, stepping back out from behind the divider. Jason clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"He's far too much of a risk. He would kill humans before he would help them. Didn't you hear, he nearly killed his friend or whatever the girl is to him? I'm hoping that we can kill him before the Survey Corps dogs try to get ahold of him." I glance at him surprised by this tid-bit of information as we walk fast towards the courts.

"Oh really? He must be quite the monster then." I smirked. "I wonder if I can get my hands on him then…"That girl must've been nuts to think to get that close to the shifter, even if he was a friend. Jason was right, though, it would be too risky having a shifter amongst the humans. The Military Police needed to get ahold of him, that's for sure. I mean, I'm no savior of the people, don't get me wrong, most of them are pathetic thieves or too frail to do a decent day's work. But, they happen to be what keeps me in a job, so I don't really fancy having them squished and eaten.

We made our way inside the courtroom and to our spots. Here is where I needed to put on my mask. It was easy enough to fool my subordinates and those around me, though as my eyes scanned the room they landed on the Survey Corps commander. He looked so serious staring back at the MPs with his immense blue eyes. I raised an eyebrow once his eyes caught mine, though his expression never wavered. His eyes stayed put staring into mine and I couldn't help but wink; that caused him to look elsewhere at the rest of the people around me. That's right commander, I'm definitely not afraid of a big dog like you. A big dog with giant eyebrows; that made me chuckle internally.

Everyone began to fill in the empty spaces in the courts, and from the looks of it, many of them were scared. I hadn't heard much about this kid, except that he shifted into a titan and nearly killed his friend. Being down in those cells had left a lot of information off my table; which I wasn't too happy with. If only the MP's get ahold of him…if only I could get ahold of him. Beating titan boy into submission before killing him would be quite interesting.

The doors finally opened after everyone had settled in. In walked a young boy, roughly 15 with brown hair and striking green eyes. My eyes narrowed as I watched him get escorted in. His mouth was wide open staring at the ceiling. He literally was a kid; a kid with titan powers. He didn't look all that scary. This boy slowly lowered his head, his eyes taking in all of the soldiers and civilians that were watching him so closely.

"Step forward!" One of the guards stated behind him as he pushed the boy with his rifle. "Kneel there." The boy kneeled down after the guard spoke; the other guard placing a pole into place between the boy's shackles and the boy's back. He stared around at everyone nervously and rightfully so. Oh kid, if you only knew the thoughts some of us had; rather, the thoughts that I had. A sneer played across my lips as I watched the little shifter. Seconds later, a door from the right of us opened and shut, and in walked the commander in chief, folding his coat and laying it on the counter of his podium.

"Shall we begin then?" The commander in chief began while looking down at his papers. "You are Eren Yeager, is that correct?" He said while adjusting his glasses. "You are a soldier sworn to protect the public. Is this correct?" Eren stared up at the commander in chief, sweat beading on his brow. He looked so nervous; it almost made me giggle.

"Yes." He spoke softly.

"These are exceptional circumstances. This hearing will be a military tribunal where ordinary laws do not apply. I have been given the authority to make all judgements. This examination will determine whether you live or die." The commander in chief looked up over the paperwork at Eren. "Any objections?"

"No." Eren lowered his head slightly.

"You catch on quickly, that will be helpful. Let me get right to the point. It was impossible to conceal your existence, after all. Unless we officially announce your existence one way or the other, a threat other than Titans may develop. I will decide which regiment's custody to place you in. The Military Police…" I smirked internally, glancing up at the commander in chief. That's right, give him to me, "Or the Scout Regiment." I glanced over at the Survey Corps commander again, though he still remained expressionless. "Now let me hear the proposal from the Military Police."

"Yes. I, Nial Dawk, commander of the Military Police, will explain our proposal. We believe that after a thorough examination of Yeager's body, he should be done away with immediately." Commander Dawk turned his head to Eren. "Granted, it is a fact that his Titan powers allowed us to fend off this attack, but his existence is now causing ripples that could lead to internal strife. So, we should get as much data as possible out of him before we turn him into a martyr for those who died in battle." Nial had a wonderful tendency to irritate the shit out of me. The only reason I ever put up with him is because a: he is my commander and b: he usually is the person to bring me people who need a good ass whooping. He always acted like he was better than everyone he came into contact with, but given the chance, he was the biggest coward of them all.

"That won't be necessary!" All heads turned to where this outburst came. I rolled my eyes, oh of course…another damn annoyance. "He is a vermin who used trickery to get past the wall…" I hated priests of the church; they're so damn annoying, "given to us by God's great wisdom! We should kill him right now!" No dear reverend, I should be the one to kill him.

"Reverend Nick, please remain quiet." The commander in chief now turned to the Survey Corps. "Next, I wish to hear the Scout Regiment's proposal."

"Yes sir." The commander of the Survey Corps spoke up. All eyes were on him now. I almost had to do a double take at the commander. He sounded so much more formal than Commander Dawk, but was he really saying he wanted to have Eren join his ranks? As an official soldier? There had to be something going on, this smelled quite fishy. Really, that is seriously all you wanted to do? I narrowed my eyes again. No, no, something was definitely up. The commander in chief finally spoke up.

"Hmm? Is that it?"

"Yes." Spoke commander Erwin. "With his powers, we can reclaim Wall Maria. We feel it is clear what our priorities should be."

"I see…Might I ask where you would start in order to accomplish this plan? Pixis, wasn't the wall in Trost District completely sealed?" The commander in chief now leaned forward, directing his attention to commander Pixis. This man…probably the only person I had any respect for; even though he _always_ beat me at chess whenever we had the opportunity to play.

"Yes, that gate will never open or close again." Commander Pixis replied.

"We hope to start out from the Karanes District to the east," Commander Erwin started again, "Then proceed to the Shingahina District. We will work our way along a new route that we will create from scratch."

"Just a minute!" Outburst number two came from one of the civilians. "This time, shouldn't we seal off every single gate? The Colossal Titan is only able to destroy the gate portion! If we reinforce those areas, we won't ever be attacked again." What a freaking idiot. Just because you reinforce those areas that doesn't mean the Colossal Titan would stop attacking. It would probably find another weak spot in the wall and decimate that too. Sometimes, I wished I could just beat people to a pulp anywhere I wanted, though sadly, this man was lucky no one knew what I did for a living.

"Shut up, you dog of the merchant association! If we use his Titan power, we can return to Wall Maria!" And the stupid arguments between everyone began. These freaking people had no idea what was out there and would run away if the option was given to fight against these titans. The Survey Corps, as much as I disliked them, were the only ones who really knew what the hell they were doing when it came to the Titans; but even then, their numbers were dwindling exceedingly quickly and it wouldn't be much longer before there was no Survey Corps left.

"We've had enough of you people playing hero!" The merchant man yelled out.

"You sure talk a lot for a fat pig." All attention went back to the Survey Corps to Captain Levi. I had never met the guy personally, but I heard he was a cold heartless bastard. Things were finally going to get interesting around here. His emotionless grey eyes stared over at the dumbasses to my left. "What guarantee do we have that the Titans will wait for us while we seal and reinforce the gates?" His voice was calm and collected as he spoke. "When you say 'we' you're talking about the friends you're protecting so you can get fat. You pigs don't even notice the people who are struggling to eat because there isn't enough land." I had to force myself to hold back the grin that was trying to escape. He was seriously cracking me up. His honesty was refreshing in this pool of bullshit.

"We're simply saying that if the gates are sealed," The merchant man began again, "we'll all be spared."

"Stop it you sacrilegious scoundrel!" Reverend Nick yelled at the merchant next to him. "You would dare lay human hands on Wall Rose, a gift from God?" I pinched the bridge of my nose at his idiocy. Apparently I wasn't the only one annoyed by the Reverend. All of the soldiers, MP, garrison, and the Corps alike all glared at him as he spoke. "Look at that divine masterpiece beyond human understanding!" The arguments just kept going. These two were getting on my last damn nerves. I turned to step over to the two morons when Jason blocked my path. I glared up at him; damn it boy, you better freaking move. As if he read my mind, he shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. I sighed loudly, putting my hands on my hips angrily. It was probably best that I didn't go over and pummel the two idiots who kept insulting each other and arguing over something so stupid.

How else were those walls built reverend? God, if he was real, definitely didn't do it. Human hands had to have touched it at some point; it isn't some masterpiece designed by the all mighty and all powerful 'God'. Plus, reverend, if your God was real, why didn't he take care of the Titans already? No, Titans are his fall through plan, if he was real; they are here to exterminate the humans for our actions over our lifetimes on this planet. In his eyes, we are the problem, not the Titans. I hated organized religion. It always brought out the worst in me, and people who 'believed' in it usually got mad for losing all of their arguments with me. I know! How about we feed the Titans some of these idiot civilians? I bet they'd leave us alone if we gave them a few hundred or so…

"Order! You can take personal arguments elsewhere." Thank you commander! "Yeager, I want to know, can you as a soldier, continue to help humankind by using your Titan powers?" How the hell would he know that for sure? The kid is a damn TITAN for Christ sakes, in case anyone forgot that they EAT people.

"Yes, I can!" Eren still looked nervous though determination started to spread across his face. Unless…kid…you can control it. My curiosity for this boy spiked a bit. What if he could control it? What an amazing weapon of mass destruction this kid would be. Hence why, he needed to be killed _after_ I got my fun out of him.

"Oh? But this is what's written in the report of the attack on Trost District. 'After turning into a Titan, he swung his fist at Mikasa Ackerman.'" Eren looked over at this Mikasa girl, who looked surprised but took a piece of her black hair covering what looked to be a cut across her face. She immediately glared at the person next to her, who looked almost offended. I couldn't hear what was said, but from the looks of it, that was the person who wrote the report. "Who is Mikasa Ackerman?"

"That would be me." The girl spoke.

"So you are. Is it true that Yeager in Titan form attacked you?" The commander questioned; Mikasa immediately turning to Eren with concern.

"Yes, it's true" She answered honestly after a moment's pause. Many gasps spread out through the courtroom. Yep he was useless and uncontrollable; I scoffed to myself.

"A Titan's a Titan, after all." The merchant spoke. Eren stared over at Mikasa, and though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was terrified. Oh no Titan boy, who knew _you_ could attack a loved one? I mentally sighed, come on kid, all Titans attack humans, did you really think you were any different?

"However, two times prior to that, Eren in Titan form saved my life." She stared at the commander in chief as she spoke, her face almost desperate looking. "The first time, just as I was nearly captured by a Titan, Eren stood in its way to protect me." I watched her as she spoke; she looked to be telling the truth, though part of me wanted to believe otherwise. She was trying to save her friend's ass, that's all this had to be. "The second time, he protected Armin and me from an artillery shell. I would like you to take these facts into consideration."

"Just a minute." Everyone glanced at Commander Dawk."Your testimony includes a considerable amount of personal emotions. Mikasa Ackerman lost both of her parents at a tender age and the Yeager family took her in." Ohhh so not just a friend then I see. "In addition, our investigation into the events of that time uncovered shocking facts. Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman, both nine years old at the time, stabbed and killed three men who tried to rob and kidnap her." My eyes widened and I couldn't help the smirk that broke free on my face. Oh boy, things just got exciting. "While it may have been justifiable self-defense, this cannot help but cast doubt on his fundamental humanity. Should we entrust him with the fate of human kind and all our resources?" Oh you bad, bad boy. Whispers broke out in agreement with my commander.

"And her too! Who knows if she's really human?!" Merchant man pointed at Mikasa.

"Right!" Another civilian spoke out. "We should have her dissected to be sure!" Pfft! If I wasn't a pro at handling my composure, I would've burst out laughing. If this girl was a titan, I'm pretty sure she would've turned during these battles she's been in. Especially if this Eren kid had turned, she wouldn't have almost gotten killed numerous times by other titans and by him if she was.

"Now hold on!" Eren yelled out. Uh oh, some people struck a nerve. Harbored feelings for her Eren? Or are you really a good-hearted person trying to protect his friends? I crossed my arms completely enthralled by the events that started taking place. "I may be a monster, but Mikasa has nothing to do with that! She's not involved!" His desperate yells rang into the courtroom as people still whispered and judged them.

"We can't believe you!" Another person yelled out.

"It's a fact!" Eren called back.

"Covering for her proves you're together!"

"That's not true!" Eren screamed fighting hard against the pole that held him in place, a loud clanging sound ringing into the courts. A shiver ran up my spine at the sound. I wasn't scared, but if he could turn into a titan, why were they trying to rile him up? People gasped loudly, but finally shut their mouths as Eren spoke quietly. "No…That's not true…You people…You're carrying on using whatever excuse is convenient for you."

"W-what?" Commander Dawk spoke. And here comes the cowardly lion ready to run by the sound of his stuttering voice.

"In the first place, you people have never even seen a Titan, so what're you so afraid of? What's going to happen if people who have the power don't fight? If you're afraid to fight to go on living, then at least help me! You…cowards…!"

"Why can't you just shut up…"Steam began rising from Eren's cuffs. This kid was going to turn into a Titan with how crazy he was getting, "and take a chance on me?!" He screamed out, now looking like he was going to explode. Shit…Suddenly it was completely quiet and everyone stared at him wide-eyed, myself included. If this kid turned into a Titan, some shit was going to go down.

"Take aim!" Commander Dawk yelled to the soldier next to him.

"Yes sir!" He replied nervously before pointing his gun directly at Yeager. My eyes hadn't left Eren, but as I took a step forward, ready to lunge at him, surprise spread across my face as the boy's face flew sideways from a very powerful kick. I didn't even see Captain Levi move, and my eyes had been in that spot the whole time. Shit, he was quick. Blood spurted from Eren's mouth, a tooth landing just a few feet away. Another kick from the Captain made its way into Eren's torso. I had to admit, the tingling sensation that spread through me made me quite giddy as I watched. This man…publicly did what I wanted to do so badly. You, sir, taker of my initial enjoyment, keep going please! Jason put his hand on my shoulder to steady me so I didn't start jumping around excitedly. This was my forte, 100%. I never thought in a million years I'd enjoy watching someone else beat upon a prisoner, yet here he was, not a single emotion readable on his face as he kicked and stomped the shit out of Eren. He pulled Eren up by his hair, kneeing him hard in the face, blood spraying everywhere. Everyone in the courtroom gasped and gaped as Captain Levi beat Eren to a bloody pulp.

Across the room Mikasa looked horrified and pissed off, though she was restrained by a small blonde boy who held her back. I could see it clear as day; she wanted to tear Captain Levi to pieces. Eren coughed up more blood onto the floor as he hunched over, the Captain pounding his boot into Eren's back, pushing his face into the ground.

"This is just my personal philosophy…I think pain is the most effective punishment." Oh you glorious man…if I knew you personally, I could almost kiss you. Almost. I had to fight hard to hold back the grin I wanted plastered to my face as well as the excitement that flowed through my body. Yes, I was rather turned on at the sight of this man beating Eren down, and I definitely agreed with his philosophy. Jason pushed harder on my shoulder, making me realize that I was shaking with this overflowing excitement. I took a long breath and gathered my composure as the Captain continued. "What you need now can't be taught by words, only by action. You're bent over on your knees, which makes you easy to kick." He kicked and stomped Eren quite a few more times, not breaking a single sweat. The people in the courtroom just watched, many grimacing at the amount of blood plastered to the floor.

"Wait, Levi…" Commander Dawk spoke. Captain Levi now had his boot plastered to Eren's face as he kept him pinned against the pole. Excuse me commander, but DO NOT interrupt my enjoyment here.

"What?" He spoke calmly, though annoyance might have seeped through that stone cold mask for a brief second, staring over at the Commander as he removed his boot from Eren's face.

"It's dangerous." The commander stated and I almost wanted to scoff. If Eren wanted to, he would've already turned and killed Captain Levi and all of the rest of us. It was obvious he wasn't going to do it. You damn cowardly lion, go the fuck outside if you don't like it. "What if he gets mad and turns into a titan?" I crossed my arms and drummed my fingers on my arm. Did I really work for such a cowardly idiot? Although, the Commander didn't understand inflicting pain to get control; it was either, kill them or jail them. Of course he wouldn't understand the methods and madness of torture. Only people like myself and Captain Levi understood this. Eren glared menacingly up at Captain Levi, who proceeded to stomp him again. You got balls kid…

"What are you talking about?" He grabbed Eren by the hair, pulling him up as he leaned down next to Eren's face. "Weren't you guys going to dissect this guy?" Captain Levi looked directly at the commander now. "I heard this guy in Titan form killed 20 Titans before stopping from exhaustion. If he's an enemy, his intelligence could be troublesome. But then, he's not _my_ enemy. But what about you people? You guys who persecuted him better think about that. Can you really kill this guy?" The blank stares from the civilians and many of the MP's gave him his answer. I could kill him, but I wasn't about to speak up. Across the room, Commander Erwin's hand shot up.

"Commander in Chief, I have a proposal."

"What is it?"

"There are many unknown elements of Eren't Titan powers, and there will always be hidden dangers. Therefore, I'd like to put Captain Levi in charge of Eren and explore the exterior." Wait, what? NO, he is supposed to be MINE. Damnit you son of a….

"By taking Eren with you?"

"Yes. We'll find out if Eren can control his Titan powers, and whether or not he is of benefit to humankind. I'd like you to make your decision after our results are in." Negative ghost rider, he is to come with me, not you.

"Control Eren Yeager, eh? Can you do it Levi?" Everyone now glanced to Captain Levi. You, I will take him from you, just you wait and see.

"If you mean, can I kill him? Certainly," He turned to face the commander in chief, "The thing is, though, that there are no halfway measures."

"I've made my decision." The commander in chief smirked. You have got to be kidding me?!

* * *

I stormed into my office, slamming my hand on the desk loudly, Jason and Commander Dawk joining me.

"Damnit we could've had him!" I growled angrily.

"Yes, but this could play out to our benefit." The commander took a seat on the couch in my office, folding his arms over his chest. "I was thinking, why don't you 'request' a transfer to the Survey Corps?" I stared at him like he was mad. Why in the fuck would I transfer? "At least if we had _you_ with them, you could tell us everything that goes on. We could get substantial evidence that he can't control his powers and then we could then justifiably kill him." I watched the commander closely.

"You want me, to spy on this bratty shifter, and tell you all the Intel I can gather? You don't think the Survey Corps would expect that?" He paused for a moment unsure of what to say.

"Well what if you submit a transfer and tell them that you were inspired by titan boy's speech. Tell them you want to do your part for humankind and that you don't want to stand around all day behind wall Sina like all the rest of us." Jason suggested, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned against the wall. That wasn't a completely horrible plan…

"Okay, say I do this and somehow they believe it, what in the hell will happen if they ever find out? And on top of that, I have never fought a titan before, what makes you think I'm not going to go in there and get myself killed?" This was a serious plan, and quite frankly, I enjoyed living my life behind the walls. Call it selfishness or whatever, but I grew up behind wall Sina and I enjoyed my job here. I sighed loudly, sitting down into my desk chair as I thought of the pros and cons to this plan.

"Look, Alessa, you are an extremely skilled soldier, I highly doubt you will get yourself killed. We don't want you to leave, but you are the only person this regiment trusts to get this kind of job done sufficiently." I gnawed on my bottom lip, throwing my hands in the air finally.

"I guess, fine, I'll do it. But if I die, don't think I won't haunt your ass until you have a fucking heart attack and join me in the afterlife." I pointed at my commander who nodded and laughed.

"Okay, okay. I'll get you transfer papers set up. In the meantime I'll leave you to relax until you have to leave. With that my commander got up from his sea, waving as he exited my office. I glanced at Jason who just looked at the floor.

"Well, spit it out, I know you wanna say something." Jason looked up at me, shaking his head.

"I know I fought to convince you to transfer, but I am still scared if something were to happen to you. I'll come too! I can protect you!"

"No, you won't." He stared at me confused, almost hurt. "Look, if you were to come with me, it would be far too suspicious. They'd know immediately that we were spying on them. I'll go alone; you stay here and keep our parents sane. If something does happen to me, do me a favor and don't go making a scene. I don't want anyone but you, me and the commander knowing about this alright?" Jason finally nodded, though it was clear he wasn't happy. Jason was very protective over me, but that's only because I was a few years younger than him. He was already 30 and I was 26, so he always took care of me and protected me when our parents weren't around, even though I definitely didn't need it. We've always been really close; we joined military training together and both of us made top marks and got ourselves into the MPs. On top of that we both made squad leaders very quickly and both of us were now Captains.

I got up walking over to Jason, giving him a big hug. I could feel him tense in surprise because I am NOT a 'let's all hug and hold hands' type of person, but I wanted him to know I'd be fine.

"Ugh let go you weird little leech!" He scoffed and threw me onto my couch. I laughed, putting my hands behind my head, getting myself comfortable on the couch as I stared at the ceiling.

"Haven't you always wanted a sweet caring sister?" I teased.

"Jesus no." He plopped himself across from me on the other couch. "If you were anyone but you, I think I'd hate you." I smirked shaking my head. He would secretly love it. "Also I will kick your crazy ass if you even think of enjoying your time in the Corps."

"What in the hell makes you think I will enjoy it?"

"Because you like killing things and destroying things, and that is pretty much all they do." There was quite a bit of truth in that statement, but I was not going to let myself enjoy it over there. I am only going to do what I need to do, kill the stupid kid, and come back to my cozy little office and hurt people on the side. That's who I am, and there is no one and nothing that was going to change that. Hopefully…


	2. Chapter 2

**I'M SO SORRY for the long wait. I've been so busy with my daughter's First Thanksgiving and xmas coming up that I've been travelling and running around like a mad woman, but I promise there is MUCH more to come and hopefully after the new year I can get a bit more consistent with the uploads!**

 **Thank you so much again Frantastic1993 you are always such an amazing help, and if you guys haven't checked out her stories, PLEASE go do so! Red Burning Wings - Flight From Darkness - Chained Wings**

 **Also, please feel free to message me and comment, I love hearing your opinions, it keeps me motivated to keep on going 33 Enjoy!**

 **As always I do not own AOT or any of the characters except my OC's.**

* * *

The sun shone brightly in the sky just like it normally did every other day, except there was this annoying amount of frustration that weighed on my shoulders like a 9000 ton anvil. My face, calm and collected with the mask in place, wanted to twist with annoyance. On the inside I wanted to pout and stomp my feet like a two year old with a tantrum, but I already agreed to this so I might as well suck it up and get on with it. Staring up at the Survey Corps headquarters I couldn't help but gnaw on my lip. It wasn't that I was nervous or scared; I just didn't want to accept my new surroundings.

"Are you going to go in, or just block the way for everyone else?" I glanced behind me, Captain Levi staring at me with that emotionless face of his. Time for the 'nice' mask. I smiled, my hand finding its way to my mouth.

"Oh! Sorry! I'm new here; I got distracted by the building." Really Alessa, distracted by the building? I internally cringe at my horrible excuse. I really need more practice with this.

"It's just a building." His blank stare turned to a slight grimace. Yeah, yeah don't make it so obvious at my horrible lie.

"Right…well I need to speak to the commander. I have transfer papers for him. Which way is his office?" I fake a nervous laugh, scratching the back of my head.

"I'll take them." He outstretched his hand expectantly. I dug the papers from my pack handing them over. His grey eyes scanning over the papers quickly. "You realize transferring here means you'd actually be working. It's nothing like the comfortable soft Military Police." His sarcasm had me wanting to kick him in the shin. Really, Captain Obvious? I never would have guessed it's nothing like the MPs.

"Yeah, I know…" I force a soft smile, "I was really moved by what that Yeager kid had said. He was right. I really want to do more for humanity than just take it easy behind the walls." His head tilted upwards slightly, his eyes narrowing down at me. He didn't believe that lie, it was pretty obvious. I force a small chuckle as he continued to watch me. Okay, Captain Obvious was turning into Captain Creepy…

"This way." He finally spoke, striding into the building. I followed closely, like a nervous new recruit. Ugh, this mask was the worst! I should've thought up something better. Glancing around the hallways, I noticed a few eyes flicker my way, but no one making any sign of real interest. As we came upon the Commander's office, a man made his way out the door. He looked from me to the Captain before back at me. I felt immediately uncomfortable as he placed his face in my personal bubble, sniffing loudly. Ugh you gross creep. I had to try extra hard not to push this one into a wall. The weird blonde smiled before walking away.

"Um…" The Captain glanced at me before opening the door.

"That was Mike. He tends to do that to new people." Yea, mental note taken, stay away from Sir Sniffs A lot. Into the Commander's office we walked. Commander Erwin's head was bent over the desk as he scribbled across some paperwork. Once he finished he looked up, taking the papers that Captain Levi handed over to him. He looked to me, nodding, before reading over the papers. His eyes found their way back to mine when he was finished.

"You were at the trial."

"Yeah I was." Crap…I had winked at him then hadn't I? Woops.

"Military Police…." He clasped his hands over his desk, his insanely blue eyes not leaving my hazel ones. I couldn't read the expression on his face, which was rare for me. I forced a sweet smile, shifting awkwardly as I stood before him. "What do you think Levi?" I glanced over at the Captain, who lounged comfortably in one of the arm chairs, one leg crossed over the other. He looked rather bored in all honesty.

"I think its bullshit." Oh shit… Commander Erwin nodded at the Captain to continue. "The Military Police hate the Survey Corps, and she's a Captain of the Military Police. I bet she's here only to kill Yeager, or spy on us. It's definitely something they would do." You are seriously perceptive. Fuck…how the hell…Well it was clear these two were going to need more than a small empty promise that I'm a good girl. These damn scouts were all about this heart and soul crap or whatever it was they spouted during their recruitment drives. Their eyes, so watchful and sincere; how the hell am I going to be able to lie to them? I draw a deep breath, my brain rummaging through my best course of bullshit, letting my tongue go and hoping it comes out as sincerely deranged as I intended it to be.

"I assure you I'm not like the others; I really do want to do my part for humanity." I insist, though the eye-roll from the Captain and the now narrowing eyes of the Commander had me shift uncomfortably. "Please, let me prove it to you, whatever it takes…" The Captain glanced over at me his cold grey eyes shining slightly.

"Why are you so determined to prove it to us?" The Commander spoke, his head tilting slightly. This was definitely going to prove troublesome.

"Look, Sir, if I may…I really was moved my Yeager's speech in the courtroom. I've been behind Wall Sina my whole life; I know nothing of what goes on beyond those Walls. The coming of the Colossal Titan scared everyone, including me, and I wanted to hide behind that wall forever. After listening to Yeager, and knowing his abilities, it made me think; what if there is more like him, and not just that, what if they wanted to destroy humanity just like the titans. I realized that I want to do my part for humanity and I don't want to be trapped behind the last wall and have no way out if the shit hits the fan…" I'd say not bad for a lie thought up on the spot. I gave a sincere and hopeful look to the Commander, ignoring the distrust emanating off the Captain. Both men stared at me for a while, both probably contemplating on whether to boot my ass out the door or not.

"I think you're full of shit." I gave a disheartened look to him, though I knew that wouldn't change anything. "She can be on my team, not for skill, but just because I don't trust you. At least this way I can keep an eye on you, and if and when you prove my suspicions correct, I'll just make your life a living hell." I bit my lip, looking over to the Commander. He looked over at the Captain before nodding his head in agreement.

"Levi, test her skill with the 3DMG and her close quarters combat. I don't want her proving useless on your squad." The Captain clicked his tongue and glared over at me.

"Don't worry Erwin; if this MP dog gets anyone killed, I'll kill her myself." The Commander's eyes tightened but he didn't object. Well Captain, that almost sounds like a challenge. I smirk internally, but widen my eyes as if I was a afraid. Bring it on.

"Still, Levi, make sure she isn't useless. Also, Alessa Evans…"I glance back at the Commander who shifted back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "You may have been a Captain in the Military Police, but here, you are only a Cadet. I hope you don't mind the pay decrease." Oh you piece of…granola loving…caterpillar eyebrows. I forced a smile through grit teeth, nodding my head slightly.

"Of course, sir, don't mind at all." The Commander nodded and smiled waving me and the Captain along. As soon as the door to the office closed, Captain Levi grabbed my arm, slamming me hard into the wall. You bastard. His menacing grey eyes bore into me like hot lava.

"I swear to you, Evans, if I find out that you're a piece of shit spy, or you're here for any bullshit reasons, I won't hesitate to kill you." His voice was low, but still powerful with his threat. It was honestly interesting being on this side of the spectrum. I'd never been in the 'victim' stance. I plastered a sweet smile on my face and I couldn't help the sarcasm that poured out of my mouth like it had broken through a dam.

"Me, Sir? I would _never_ give you any reason to think I wasn't honestly here for a good cause. I _promise_ to be on my best behavior. I _honestly_ hope we can be friends one day." I was definitely going to kick myself in the ass for that later, but right now I was thoroughly enjoying the look on his face. It said 'you fucking bitch' beautifully.

"Fine then, tomorrow we will see what you're made of. For now, I'll show you to your quarters, dinner is in the mess hall at 8pm." He knew I was full of it the moment I arrived, which was honestly impressive seeing as I'm a good bull-shitter. There's very, very few that know me well enough when I lie and they happened to be related to me. I smirk as he pushed me from the wall making me stumble a bit. He was going to be a hard one to win over. I _had_ to convince him that I was being honest. If I could get the Captain convinced, then the Commander was sure to follow suit.

He led me through the maze of halls, pointing out the bathrooms along the way. We eventually made it to my bedroom door where he knocked lightly. A young girl opened it, looking rather surprised to see her Captain there. A blush covered her cheeks as she looked from him to me, and back to him.

"This is Alessa Evans; she's your new roommate." He stated simply before turning at leaving us together.

"Hi Alessa! She was absolutely adorable, her ginger hair and wonderful amber colored eyes warmly welcoming me. "I'm Petra Ral, come in, come in!" She ushered me into the small room. I never shared a room with anyone since my training days. This was going to be an interesting experience.

"Hi, nice to meet you." I murmured staring around at the small space, setting my bag on my bed.

"It's going to be so fun having another girl around!" She exclaimed excitedly. "How come you didn't show up with all the other recruits?"

"Oh I transferred from the MP's." I said quietly, forcing a nervous laugh as I sat on my bed, her across from me.

"Oh wow! You're in for quite a different experience here!" She giggled, tucking her legs under her in a cross legged position. "What was it like in the MP's?" She seemed so happy to talk to me, it was odd. If she was going to be this talkative all the time, I might throw myself out our window…

"Eh, it was nothing crazy. We mostly stood around chit chatting, occasionally guarding some higher ranked officials or attending formal balls and gatherings." Her eyes lit up at the mention of the formal balls.

"Woah! Did you ever dress up and dance? Or did you just stand around and chat vaguely about the economy like other socialites?" I stared at her confused before realizing the Survey Corps were pretty much _never_ invited to such things. At least, I had never seen them around.

"Sometimes we did. I'm not a fan of dressing up so I usually opted for a guard position." She gaped at me, but it was only a half truth. I never attended the balls, usually because of my other job. During those times, I was usually in the basements threatening some of the higher standing people who tried to jip the MP's and the higher status families. That Thug Life was pretty demanding at times.

"Wow…I would totally dress up in a gown and dance the night away!" I couldn't help the genuine chuckle that escaped my throat. She probably was one to believe in fairytales and happy endings. What a ridiculous thing to believe in, but I had to respect her for believing in happiness that could never come. "One of these days you should tell me about one that you actually went to! I want to hear all about what the rich like to dress in and how they act at these things. But I am starving! Let's go get some dinner; I'll introduce you to everyone." I nodded standing up and following her down the stairs to the mess hall where there were so many people already sitting and eating.

Once we sat down after getting our food, the people around me began introducing themselves. It was odd to have this many people _wanting_ to socialize and actually be so genuinely happy and nice. This was not like back home where everyone believed they were better than each other and if someone was being 'nice' it usually meant they were only doing it for some benefit of their own. Maybe socializing was something here where you don't really know who could be around to talk with the next day. I bet the turn over around here must be insane. Do they even have time to get bored of each other's stories?

"Hey, you study these people the way I study titans!" I stared blankly at the crazy hyper woman standing up from her seat and leaning over the table trying to shake my hand. She had what looked like gun powder or soot on her face and her glasses were pushed up to the top of her head making her messy brown ponytail that much messier. How in God's name did she notice me studying the people in the room? It's pretty freaking at how many people are so damn perceptive here. "I'm Zoe Hange!"

"Jeez Hange! Most of us were noticing how attractive and pleasing she is to look at, you are the one to see that she's actually studying us!" One of the soldiers exclaimed making me actually blush slightly. Yeah, I'm definitely not good with compliments.

"Alessa Evans…" A small smirk spread against my face as I shook her hand. She had peaked my interest with her hyperactivity and all around passionate demeanor as she dived right into what she did with the Survey Corps and how much she loved to research everything there was to know about titans.

"You should come with me to meet my titans!" She exclaimed.

"Why are you so obsessed with titans?" I asked.

"NO!" A bunch of people yelled in unison making me chuckle. Apparently that's a no-no subject? For another time perhaps.

"She will talk literally all night, don't do it." One of the guys said, his name though I didn't catch.

"How about we check them out when we have a free day or something." I suggested noticing the tension that had entered the air finally mellowing out.

"Okay fine, but when we do, you are MINE for the day." I nodded smiling. Working with her would give me so much insight on how to disassemble Titan Boy if the need arose. It would be very worth it gaining as much knowledge as I could.

"So Alessa, being from the MP's, is it really different from being here?" Eren Yeager questioned, biting into his food. He was relatively quiet during all of the introductions, so I had not had the chance to really speak with him. Especially with Hange taking over the conversation.

"Well I haven't done much since being here, so I don't really know, but you guys are much more positive company than the MP's."

"Really? What do you mean?"

"Well, the MP's aren't really big on enjoying the company of others. There are small tight knit groups but no one really gets together like this. Usually teams stick to each other like glue and even then many of them prefer their own solidarity. The mess hall there is never this loud and chatty."

The air around started to get rather gloomy, everyone staring into their food now, not really eating. I guess my earlier assumptions were correct. Being in the MP's I very, very rarely seen my fellow soldiers die, and it was never from a Titan. I definitely didn't understand the feelings these people here were feeling and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely uncomfortable .. I was not here to make friends and build relationships. I have one goal, and that was take out the young boy who sat diagonally from me who had a deep inset frown on his face. These people have seen many loved ones die and here I sat ready to take another life from among them. I mentally slapped myself back into my reality. I cannot let this sway my emotions. Eren will die, and I will be the cause of it. I made my choice and that was not going to change.

"Well," I began, breaking the silence. "Why don't you guys stop going on these expeditions? I mean, if you're losing so many lives out there, why not do something different to protect the lives inside the walls by staying inside of them?" I must have hit a trigger because now, every person at that table, let alone the entire mess hall, got quiet and stared at me.

"Hey…" I looked over at the Captain, who literally looked like he was going to stab me with the fork in his hand. "How about you stop being so heartless if you can't understand why we do what we do?" I opened my mouth to speak but he shook his head. For now I had to just sit and listen. "I've seen many people die out there who didn't deserve it. We fight for our lives every time we leave these walls because we _truly_ believe in protecting what is left of humanity. Even if we get only a small amount of information on how to eradicate these titans, that could be enough to save countless lives. If you can't get that through your thick skull, there is the door. I hope it kicks your ass on the way out." He pointed at the door, his grey eyes burning a hole into me. There has been a lot of firsts for me since the few hours I have been here, and seriously feeling like the biggest asshole in the room was yet another. Everyone stayed quiet, now staring at me for what seemed like forever, but I wasn't going to budge. "If you really want to stay and prove you are one of us, keep your mouth shut and do your job. You're here to risk your life just like the rest of us and you are _no_ better than any one person here. Get rid of that idiocy and grow some damn humility and understanding for others."

Wow. I have never felt this way in my life. Guilt suddenly hit me like a freight train as I glanced around at everyone around me. Every single pair of eyes that stared back had some serious emotion in them, whether I saw anger, hatred, sadness or disappointment. I've only ever seen fear and admiration from my peers. This was different.

"Excuse me…" I mumbled getting up from the table and heading to my quarters. I've never dealt with this raw of emotion like this. This was not a part of the plan, what the heck was this reaction. It's my first day, this is not who I was. To feel like the smallest person in the room pissed me off more than anything, but I had to keep my mask on. I had to not back lash into the person they had yet to meet. Only a little while longer and I'll be back home as the person on top. I quickly dressed for bed, lying between the blanket and sheets. I did not feel comfortable. I did not feel tired. I turned and faced the wall, highly irritated with my feelings right then. If I was to successfully pull of killing this kid, I had to keep my mouth shut and stay focused. No more small talk and no more playing nice, it only lead to areas I clearly didn't understand. These people acted like they were some weird family, with all sorts of respect and affection for each other. I didn't get that kind of thing so I couldn't deal with it. There was no point in entering a race when my hands and feet were already bound.

I could hear Petra enter our room, slowly getting ready for bed. She did her best to stay quiet as she lay in her bed. A loud sigh and a few tossing and turning sounds later, I could hear her sit up.

"I don't know if you're asleep or not, but if not, I just want you to know I don't hate you, and neither do a lot of other people. It's understandable that you don't know what we go through on a daily basis, but please try to think about everyone else's feelings before you talk about what we do. I know you didn't mean any harm, but we are a family here, and you became part of us now that you transferred here. Just try to think about how you would talk to your family about touchy situations and apply it here. You'll be a lot better off." She waited for a few moments to see if I would respond. When I didn't she sighed loudly again and lay back down. After a few more moments her breathing became quiet and even, indicating she was finally asleep. This was going to be a battle of emotions for me being here.

The next morning we made our way through the many soldiers who were either talking in small groups or working on some projects. Into the hand to hand training ring we went, and I couldn't help but feel awkward seeing my new team.

"Hurry the hell up, we need to start training. Petra, get in the ring with Evans." The Captain stated, rather annoyed. I mentally groaned. This was all so tedious and annoying. I'm so not holding back; these Corps members better bring their A game.

Petra and I squared off in the circle, both of us doing our slow circle dance, each of us preparing for the other to start. I raised my fists in front of my face, digging my heels into the dirt now, ready to go. Petra lunged forward, and I have to admit, the girl is quick. It looked like an even playing field because we were the same size, but little did any of them know, this is what I enjoyed doing. I quickly dodged her punch, twisting my body around with a swift and hard kick to her ribs. Petra landed on the ground gasping for her breath. I didn't intentionally knock the wind out of her, but hey, at least they know I'm a force to be reckoned with.

"Ok, Eren, in the ring." Eren and I faced each other this time, though he was a fairly tougher opponent, surprisingly. This time I started first, swinging a quick fist towards his face. He barely missed my swing as he rounded his counter attack. This went on for a few moments before I managed to grab his arm, twisting him around and pinning him to the ground. Each opponent one after the other, were slowly getting tougher as I fought Oluo, then Gunther, and then Eld. It had been quite some time since I've had to square off in hand to hand combat. Normally I just pummeled people til they were either seriously injured or sometimes I took it that last step further; depending on the situation of course.

I panted heavily, taking a few sips from my canteen. It's been a little while since I've had people fight back, but I wasn't too tired. I was more pumped up and ready for more in all honesty. To my surprise, Mr. Bigshot decided to walk into the ring now. I had managed to break a small sweat with the others, but I wasn't going to let this guy defeat me. A small smile played across my lips as he took his jacket off, laying it neatly over the rail. Next was his cravat and I couldn't help but cross my arms and tap my foot while pretending to look at a non-existent watch. He eyed me coldly, folding his sleeves up his rather toned forearms.

"Don't get cocky Evans." I smiled widely.

"Me? Cocky? Oh, no Sir, never." He rolled his eyes at my wonderful sarcasm. He was right though, I shouldn't have gotten cocky. Once I stopped talking, this quick little fuck came at me, and no he was definitely not holding back. My forearms burned horribly from blocking his first massive kick. If I had been a second later, I'd have no face. Okay, so this is how you want to play. After a few more kicks, I finally had an opening. His side lay bare to my oncoming fist. I nailed the hit, though he was quick enough to move and reduce the impact. That didn't, however, keep him from grunting. Yeah that's right, I got you now.

My momentum just kept rising as I flung fists, blocking his in return. As I swung my left arm at his face, he managed to grab me, throwing me to the ground. I quickly rolled, springing back up and not missing a beat. I was not about to go down that easily; my anger began to boil at the thought of this guy winning. Hell no. Again, I lunged forward, quicker than the Captain could dodge. My fist landed against the side of his cheek, making him stumble backwards. Surprise flooded his face for just a brief second before anger replaced it. His eyes bore through me like a wildfire as he now came at me, tackling me to the ground.

I grunted loudly at my rough landing, though I had no time to worry about the pain as his fist now came at my face, landing a hell of a punch. I never thought I'd say this but….I think those are stars. I reacted as quickly as I could, though those little specs of light kept bouncing around interrupting my vision. I began to block what hits I could, though some managed to get through to my ribs. Fuck this…Rearing up I knocked him to the side, jumping on top as quickly as I could, lashing at him like a crazed banshee. My fists were flying and I was definitely seeing red. His hands finally grasped my forearm, flipping me over so my face hit the dirt. He had me pinned now, and no matter how much I fought it, I couldn't get him off of me. He had my arm twisted behind my back and his knee pushed into the back of my neck.

"I told you not to get cocky." He stated calmly, finally getting off of me. I panted heavily in to the dirt, forcing myself not to tell him to fuck off. I groaned loudly pushing myself up off of the ground, noticing the blood splatter where my face was. Raising my hand to my face, I winced at the feeling of dirt and rocks in my open cut on my upper cheek.

"Wow…I have never seen someone so well matched to the Captain!" Petra gaped. "Normally he takes people out in seconds!"

"I must be pretty tough then huh?" She laughed and nodded as I wobbled out of the ring. As much as I couldn't stand the guy, he gave a pretty good fight. It was refreshing to have a one on one fight like that and not win in a short period of time. I glanced over at the Captain who was now shrugging on his jacket. He looks practically untouched, except for the apparent pink spot where I hit him. It contrasted with his pale skin and that made me frustrated. As fun as it was to fight him, I was the one with the cuts and bleeding and definite bruises. I only made one big mark on his face that probably wouldn't even bruise. Maybe I'll just sneak into his room with a rock filled pillow case….

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"Well Captain, I want a rematch. Not right now of course, but one of these days." He rolled his eyes, shoulder checking me as he walked by.

"You couldn't win even if you tried your hardest." Challenge accepted. "Break for lunch, we'll continue after with the 3DMG." The squad made our way to the mess hall, some of us rather slowly due to excessive pain. Eren made his way next to me, nudging me with his elbow.

"You really were awesome out there!" I glanced at him and couldn't help but laugh. His big green eyes looked so excited. Too bad kid, I think we would've been friends if it wasn't for my other agenda.

"Thanks. I don't normally lose like that."

"Yea but you faced off with the Captain and had a pretty even run with him. I'd say that's pretty freaking sweet." I rolled my eyes and smirked as we walked into the mess hall.

"Next time he's going to be the one on the ground." Eren laughed but agreed that I would definitely do it.

Lunch time was a lot more relaxed than the night before, making it a little easier to sit amongst everyone. I hadn't expected everyone to leave the night before alone and still treated me like I was one of them. So much so that Zoe Hange was even cleaning my face and applying bandages where needed. Everyone was in such a lighter mood, talking about all sorts of things. I really did feel uncomfortable among them. Like my face was painted with the word Traitor in an unknown language that only I knew about. If these guys knew who I was, I doubt they'd be this caring afterwards.

We finished our lunch, heading back out to the training areas. It was now time for the 3DMG training. I did well with it back in the days I first joined the military, but since then, I haven't used it at all. There was literally no need for it within Wall Sina. We were all strapped in and ready to go.

"Alright Evans, you need to finish the course within a certain amount of time. You must cut the napes of the wooden titan necks as quickly and deeply as you can. The Captain here will be following to note your speed, accuracy, and gas use. Do your best!" Petra patted me on the back.

Oluo held the timer, his free hand in the air ready to fall indicating it was time to go. His hand dropped and I was off. I can honestly say, having the Captain following me and watching my every move made me a total mess. I flew through the trees quickly, though I could barely focus. All these thoughts of how annoying it was to have him right here had me so unfocused, that I hadn't realized a wooden titan popped right out in front of me until it was too late. I tried to dodge but managed to clip my foot against it, toppling towards the ground. I managed to shoot one of my wires to a tree pulling myself back upwards, turning myself back to where that wooden titan was. I swung behind it slashing its neck before continuing on.

That was incredibly embarrassing. Thankfully the Captain didn't say anything, but if I hadn't caught myself, I couldn't help but wonder if he would've let me fall and just told the Commander that I died from an accident. One less thing to worry about right? I grit my teeth pushing forward, determined to finish this course without any more hiccups. I weaved in and out of the branches now a bit more focused, though I really wasn't doing that great. My slashes weren't very deep and maneuvering through the trees, I'm surprised I didn't smack into them.

Once the end of the course came into view, I took a relieving breath, landing on the dirt a bit roughly. I panted lightly as the Captain got together with Oluo about my time. The grim faces of Eld, Petra and Gunther had me feeling like I didn't do so well.

"So Alessa, you need some serious training before I let you out on any of these expeditions." The Captain walked up to me and crossed his arms over his chest. "If those were titans…you would've been eaten when you came into contact with the first one. Also that's the only one you cut deep enough to kill. Your cuts on the others were way too shallow to make any sort of difference. You also wasted a significant amount of gas." He stepped around me, pulling the tanks off my gear and throwing them on the ground. "You're lucky you even made it to the end of the course. This kind of shit is going to not only get you killed, but will get your team killed as well. We have an expedition coming up very soon, and if you don't want to be twiddling your thumbs here, you need to seriously train harder."

I felt like crap. How was it I was regarded so highly behind wall Sina, but here I felt like the worst soldier? Petra stepped forward, handing me two new tanks.

"Come on Alessa, I'll show you how you can preserve your gas. We can train for the rest of the day together if you'd like."

"Yea that would be great." I nodded. The Captain looked at me, though I couldn't read his expression.

"Petra, make sure she gets this right. I'll test you again tomorrow. There better be improvement." With that the Captain turned on his heel and walked away. I was in for a really long night and I wasn't looking forward to this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys so I wanted to let you know I revised this chapter, I wasn't happy with the way I wrote it before and got angry that I just let it sit for a few days before I did anything about it. I'm sorry for that, and hopefully the new edit doesn't completely blow everyone out of character. Enjoy, and please comment, I love hearing what you guys think, good and bad.**

It's been a long time since I've seen nature so peaceful like this. The tree branches swayed slightly with the light breeze that flowed gracefully through each leaf. The sky, bright blue and the air crisp and refreshing, it made me want to run around like a kid again. My usual view of the inner city and even lower depths of the cells made witnessing this sort of thing almost bittersweet. My hands gripped the broom handle tightly as I thought about the inner city. The bustling noise of the people chattering about their day, the merchants calling to passing groups trying to entice them to spend all of their money; it really was a different world. No one noticed the nature that was surrounding them; each of them content with their comfortable lifestyles behind the inner wall. This is what they were missing, the calm serene sight of nature sitting on display like a masterpiece painting for everyone to set their gaze on. Even I couldn't help but get lost in the sight, and feel, of the outer walls. It was so blissful…

"So are you going to stand there all day or are you going to actually clean?" My stomach clenched at his voice. How long had he been standing there?

"Sorry Captain, I've never been this far from the walls before, I got a bit side tracked." He stood, arms folded over his chest and leaning against my door frame.

"Isn't that just sweet." Sarcasm rolled from his tongue, and I held the urge to throw the broom at him. "Hurry up and finish, there's still a lot more that needs done and the others could use your help." I nodded at him, though just seeing him brought my anxiety up like a bowl full of water that was just on the brink of spilling. The past few days had been hell with him practically breathing down my neck with my training, especially with the lack of sleep and massive amounts of laps that I had to run due to my mouth getting the better of me. Who knew being the nice girl would be so hard? Maybe I should just toss that mask in the garbage since I keep getting into trouble anyways.

I breathed a sigh of relief once he left and I could no longer hear his footsteps near my room. He may be a wondrous sight to see when he is ripping someone apart, but dealing with his controlling personality up close was a nightmare. No wonder he's alone; what girl would want that kind of guy? The thought of his overly dominant personality in a relationship trickled through my mind and I couldn't help but giggle. He must be compensating for something; more than likely it was his height, though I really can't talk about height seeing as I'm shorter than him. I shook the thought of any poor girl dealing with him out of my brain and continued cleaning my room, making sure to take my sweet time so I didn't have to deal with anyone else for a while.

Eventually I finished cleaning my room, heading out now to head to the mess hall. I probably should've eaten breakfast this morning, but the feeling of my bed was just too nice. As I headed down the stairs, the Commander was walking up them, his eyes glancing my way. Ugh, another one I really didn't want to see.

"Alessa, I'm glad I caught you, come to my office for a minute." I mentally growled. What could you possibly want with me? Seriously? I plastered a fake smiled and nodded, following him to his office. Once inside he shut the door and made his way to his desk. "Here, you have a letter from Commander Dawk and one from a man named Jason."

"Oh! That's my brother!" I grabbed the envelopes from him and as I was about to open them, I noticed they were already opened. My eyes narrowed and I looked up at the Commander. "Did you seriously read my mail?" He just stared back at me expressionless. Seriously, you guys don't trust me that much that you go through my belongings? Oh please god I hope they didn't write anything that could incriminate me. I opened the letter from Commander Dawk, and luckily he worded it in a way that it just seemed as if he were asking me to let him know how I like it in the Survey Corps and told me that I always had a place with the MP's. Phew, good going Commander. Next was Jason's letter. My heart immediately sank at the first few lines. Asshole.

 _Ali,_

 _It really sucks you left; the squad is so not the same without you. Those shitty Corps douchebags better be treating you okay, otherwise I'm going to kill them all. Have you gathered any news about that stupid titan kid? Everyone's been dying to know what you've found out so far. Aside from that, I have some news about Mom and Dad. They're so pissed you left without a word, they want to meet with you ASAP to discuss…your job. I tried to tell them I would take over for you, but you know how the family is, when you get assigned a job, it's yours. If you can, write to them and let them know what's going on so they stop freaking out and so they stop saying they're going to disown you. You and I both know that'll be really, really bad for you if they do. Hope you're doing ok, write as soon as you can._

 _Jason_

I looked up at the Commander after reading Jason's letter. Jason you dumbass, why would you practically spell it all out in bold letters everything that I do? Ugh…The commander just sat there in his oversized chair, his hands clasped in front of him on his desk, but the air around him was obvious. There was no leaving until he got me to talk. How the hell was I going to fix this? I just got here for Christ's sake. I guess I stayed quiet for too long, because the commander cleared his throat and pointed to one of the leather chairs across from him.

"You've got some explaining to do." I sighed and nodded, sitting down. I gnawed on my lip still trying to find the right words. "Why don't you tell me the truth first about why you're here."

"Well…" I finally looked him dead in the eyes, "After the whole courtroom thing, my Commander wanted me to transfer here to watch and gather information on Eren. He wants any reason to take down the Corps and wants Eren dead." The Commander nodded.

"So why you?" Ah shit.

"I'm just one of his Captains that he trusts…" The Commander shook his head.

"The truth." Jesus am I that transparent or something?

"Fine." I glared at him now. "It's because of my Job." He arched an eyebrow and I knew he wasn't going to just accept that either. "I'm a trained 'information gatherer' so to speak."

"So you torture people for information." I nodded. He indicated for me to continue.

"My main job, given to me by my family, is to gather information, and take care of…difficult…instances."

"You're basically a hired Mercenary." I shrugged and nodded. Basically, yeah I was.

"So what now commander, are you going to tell everyone and have me jailed?" He sat silent for a few moments, looking me over a couple of times.

"No." My eyes widened. "I'm not going to tell anyone, but I have a few conditions." I narrowed my eyes, what the hell was he planning? "If you agree to these conditions, I will not say a word, and I will not have you jailed, though if you don't agree, a much worse punishment will head your way. You will be the one to tell everyone, but not yet. I want you to tell everyone the truth after the expedition I have planned in a few weeks. Once we're back here, you will tell everyone the truth and don't leave out a single detail. I also want you to keep in regular contact with your commander and brother. I will keep the letters from them to you, and you will write them back here in my office. As for your parents, I do not want you contacting them at all."

"Commander that is a huge mistake." I interrupted. He had no idea the type of people my parents were.

"I don't care if they disown you." I opened my mouth to speak, but he brought his hand up forcing me to swallow my words. "Your family has no business in this. And you will let your brother and Commander know that as well. Also, leave Eren alone. If you so much as pinch him without my say so or Captain Levi's say so, you will be done for. Agree to these terms and you can go about your business." I bit my lip roughly; this really is not going to be good either way. I can do all of the rest of it, but I am far more scared of my family, than I am of any titans. They were known for raising all types of Mercenaries and thugs. The family was literally just a gang that ran things in the inner city. But, if the Commander didn't want to listen, then hopefully nothing would come of it.

"Would Captain Levi know of any of this?" That was number 2 of whom I was most worried about. I didn't really feel like dying just yet.

"No. This is between you and me for now. You will be the one to tell him all of this later."

"Then I agree to your terms, but I warn you Commander," He gave me that 'you really think you can say shit' look, but I continued anyway, "My family, is nothing to scoff at. They don't take abandonment lightly." He nodded once but shrugged. Commander, I hope whatever you are planning works out, because you are playing with a fire that will burn you and yours to the ground.

"You can leave now." I bowed slightly before turning and heading out of his office. Shit, this was going to be really, really bad. I must've been lost in thought because I don't remember getting to the mess hall or even getting myself food, but there I was staring down at my barely eaten, now cold, plate.

"Hey Alessa, are you ok?" I looked up at Petra, finally coming back to reality.

"Huh? Oh yea I'm fine, sorry, just off in my own world." Thankfully the smile I shot her convinced her that I was telling the truth. I glanced around the table at all the chattering from my team, my eyes landing on an oh too familiar set of icy gray ones. He had this way of staring at people that said 'something isn't right' and it was just down right weird. Between him and the commander, I really must be easy to see through. I really have to work on that. I glanced back at my plate, but I could still feel his eyes boring into me. Please just let this day be over already. I was so focused on staring at my food that I hadn't realized Hange barged through the mess hall being her crazy self.

"Sorry for the wait, I'm actually in charge of examining two titans we caught in town! I'd like you to help with my experiments tomorrow, so I came to get your permission." She stood next to Eren, a smile wide on her face. I looked over at Petra who just smiled and shook her head. Eren asked her what kind of experiments she was talking about and Oluo told him not to ask. Uh oh, that must not be good. I watched as Hange's face sparkled with joy at Eren's interest in her experiments. A hand grabbed my arm and started to pull me out of my seat. I looked at Petra confused and she just mouthed a 'come on.' Reluctantly I followed, even though I really wanted to know too.

"Why'd you drag me out of there?" I asked the moment we got out of the mess hall.

"Trust me; you would've been in there all night, literally." Oluo stated, walking beside us. "That woman talks forever."

"I take it you guys have gotten stuck in there with her before?" They nodded, their faces somber as if reliving a horrifying memory. I couldn't help but giggle as we made our way outside.

"Since he's going to be busy tomorrow, you will clean the garden." I stared at Captain Levi now.

"I make no promises when it comes to gardening. I'm horrible at keeping plants alive." It was Petra's turn to giggle now.

"Then you will learn." Damn you! At least is a relatively simple task. We made our way up to the rooms, luckily now I had my own. I sat down on the bed and stared around. It really made me feel lonely; staring around at the cold stone walls knowing there wasn't anyone here that I knew. The more I thought about it though the more I realized, I'm always alone, even inside the walls. I had Jason, true, but he was such a man whore that I never really hung out with him on any down time just because he was always working his way into whatever girls dress he could. My family? Nope, they were more preoccupied with themselves and money than any of their children. Friends? I don't make friends. Most of my down time, which wasn't much, I spent reading or training. Plus, I know I'm not the easiest to get along with. Inside walls where everyone lied, someone who was always honest was always frowned upon. Does my make- up look good? No you look like a clown tried to make out with you.

I stared down at my hands and smirked at the time I told a girl that. Her parents threw a fit to mine and poor Jason had to date her for a couple of weeks just so they'd leave me alone. Those were funny times. There were very few of them, but they sure made me laugh. Petra was probably the closest thing to a friend I had here. I did genuinely like her, she was nice and pretty honest, very refreshing. The thought of telling her the truth about me made my stomach turn. These people, who were treating me like a friend, how would they feel knowing they had someone amongst them that had killed people before? Petra was sure to be hurt. Eren would probably never come near me; then the others? They would probably treat me like an outcast. The Captain would for sure try to kill me. Telling them was going to suck.

The thought of my family next really made my anxiety spill over. My parents weren't just parents. They're basically gang leaders. They give their children and anyone in the family a set job and if you don't do your job right, they put you back into conditioning until you do your job correctly. Conditioning was not just training. It was literal torture and brainwashing. A shiver ran up my spine as I remembered the first time I had to do Conditioning. Every day your torture gets worse and worse until they are satisfied with the results. If you were smart, you quickly learned to put on that mask and do everything they asked for no questions asked. Jason was the one who helped me through my Conditioning. One day I'd get 30 lashes on my back. Another day they'd try to 'drown' me, only pulling me up when I started to run out of air. Things like this lasted hours and hours for many days. At 7 years old, I learned quickly to do what I was told when I was told. Now knowing that I am for sure going to get disowned, left a bad taste in my mouth. They were going to send hired goons to snuff me out, or worse drag me back for Conditioning. I need to keep my eyes and ears open, anyone could be involved.

Nerves rattled my stomach, and I definitely needed to find some peace of mind. Leaving my room I headed for the kitchens. There must be some sort of Liquor here. I rummaged through the cabinets, though there was no such luck. Maybe elsewhere? I spent a good hour and a half searching this castle for some sort of alcoholic substance, though my efforts proved meaningless. I growled loudly, standing in one of the dark sitting rooms, tapping my foot impatiently.

"You should be asleep." Ugh go away! I turned and glanced at Captain Levi who looked bored watching me.

"Can't sleep." I plopped down on one of the couches, leaning my elbows on my knees. The Captain walked across from me, sitting on the couch adjacent. I glanced at him as he watched me. It was odd seeing him in clothes other than his uniform. He looks almost like a normal human.

"Why not?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I don't want to discuss this with you of all people. "Well why don't you tell me what you are searching for. You've messed the place up pretty good, so whatever you are looking for must be pretty important." I glared at him now. Can't you just go away and leave me in peace?

"Alcohol." I stated simply. His eyebrow shot up and he stayed quiet for a moment.

"Stay here." He stood up quickly and left. Don't tell me he's going to go tell the Commander on me? I couldn't help but chuckle, he certainly wasn't the tattle tale type. Quite a few minutes went by and back came the Captain, two glasses in one hand and a beautiful bottle of bourbon. I looked up at him surprised as he held out one of the glasses. "Are you going to take it or am I drinking by myself?" I laughed taking the glass, letting him fill it for me. The scent of what could be oak hit my nostrils first. Oh yes please, I took a sip, enjoying the smooth taste cascade down my throat.

"This is a pleasant surprise Captain." He was now cross legged with one arm on the back of the couch sipping from his cup.

"I'm a nice person." I let out a loud laugh. "Something funny?"

"Yeah, you." He rolled his eyes and we both continued to sip our drinks. "You were the last person I thought I'd be sitting and having a drink with."

"Don't get cozy, I've been wanting to open that bottle for a while. Drinking it alone seemed rather pathetic." I nodded, grabbing the bottle and pouring more for myself.

"To each his own, though this is too good not to share." He stayed quiet, both of us turning sips to bigger gulps, both of us now a few glasses in.

"So what's with you today? I've never seen you lost in thought so much today." Really? You need to ruin a good moment?

"Just stress, nothing I can't handle." His eyes bore into me, making it hard to ignore him. "I just hate being stressed is all."

"So get over it, life is stressful." There's the captain I know. "If it is something that bothers you to that extent, then get rid of whatever's stressing you out."

"So does that mean I should smother you in your sleep?" I joked and surprisingly he cracked a smirk. I poured another glass for us both, the quiet consuming us again. A few more glasses and I was certainly feeling a bit fuzzy. I lost count of the amount of glasses we knocked back, but we killed over half a bottle so far. "You know Captain, you're not so bad." Apparently I had enough to talk overly honestly. This is the point where a filter was no longer around. Oops.

"I know I'm pretty great." I laughed and shook my head.

"You're incredibly relaxed for an ass."

"Booze helps." He tipped his glass towards me and I filled it once more.

"Yeah, I can almost not feel so weighted down now." Alessa think about what you're saying. This is your rational conscious speaking, please take heed of where this conversation could go.

"You're incredibly stressed for someone who has no reason to be."

"I have plenty of reasons!" I argued. He stared at me intrigued. "I have my family, who is really nuts, I have my dumbass brother who can't keep his mouth shut…" Damnit Alessa you loud mouth, "And our Commander who likes to blackmail people." There was a certain flash in his eyes, for now, Captain Levi may have just sobered up instantly. Though, I for one didn't notice and still kept running my mouth. "What a douchebag, telling me I have to tell the truth eventually and telling me not to write to my family! Does he know what they're really like? The Evans family, who tortures people and hires and trains mercenaries?! It'd be stupid not to write to them and tell them all is ok." The Captain sat forward, listening to every single word that poured from my mouth. My conscious wanting to strangle me for talking, but I couldn't stop it. "I'm not supposed to be telling you this so shhhhh." I pressed my finger to my lips, grabbing the bottle and sloppily pouring yet another glass. The Captain watched, not making a single move to stop me.

"What aren't you supposed to tell me?" His voice was low but calm, making it even easier to talk.

"That I was sent to spy and kill Eren. The commander found out but he said it's okay he wouldn't tell anyone." The room began to spin a little, forcing me to brace myself a little. The Captain just kept staring, and had I been sober, I would've seen the anger in his eyes. "But I like Eren. Really. I don't think I would've killed him. He's too sweet." I began to giggle. "The commander said I need to write back to my commander and my brother and give them false information otherwise he'll do worse than jail me!" More giggles erupted. "He doesn't understand though, my family is going to send people to kill me if I don't write to them, but the Commander said no. He doesn't understand, the people they will send are ruthless. I don't want to go to Conditioning." I started to whine, getting emotional. My conscious sat back rolling her eyes at my pathetic self.

"What is conditioning?" It was rather hard for Captain Levi to mask his irritation, but in my state I didn't even care.

"It's when the family tortures you for days, sometimes even weeks or months, until you act right again. I left without telling them and they're really, really mad. They are going to want me dead or back for conditioning. I'd rather just die." I chugged what was left in my glass, reaching for the bottle again, but this time the Captain stopped me.

"Have you been to Conditioning before?" I nodded lifting my shirt, making the Captain get a little nervous. Along my abdomen was a long burn scar, surrounded by a few smaller ones.

"I got this when I was 7, my dad used a hot fireplace iron and burned me. It hurt which is why there's a bunch of other little scars too. I couldn't sit still so he had people hold me down for this one." I pointed at the long scar. The Captain looked almost sick as he stared at the scar. His hand reached out, his fingers grazing the scar lightly. I giggled, the feeling giving me chills. "You can't tell anybody okay?" I whispered, putting my finger to my mouth. He stared at me for quite some time, not saying a word. "Please, I don't want you or my family to kill me." After a while longer he sighed.

"Fine." He stood up, reaching his hand out to me. I pulled on his arm, toppling into him a bit from lack of balance.

"Psst Captain…!" I whispered loudly as he tried to help me gain some sort of balance.

"What?" I giggled and shushed him.

"I'm really drunk." He rolled his eyes putting my shirt back down and wrapping his arm around my waist to help stabilize me.

"I can see that." More giggles. If I was sober, I'd kill myself for this.

"Drunk people are fun. Are you drunk?" The Captain shook his head.

"A little." I dug my heels into the floor hard.

"Nooo you have to be drunker!" I whispered loudly. "I don't want to be alone!" The Captain growled heaving me over his shoulder so I wouldn't be able to stop him again. I pouted as he carried me up the stairs and to my room. He roughly threw me onto the bed before placing his hands on his hips and breathing a little heavy. "Are you saying I'm fat?" I glared at him crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes." He rolled his eyes as I scoffed, throwing my pillow at him.

"Ass. Ugh, the room is spinning."

"Are you going to puke?" I shook my head no before sitting myself up and fanning myself with the oncoming hot flash I was getting.

"Too many…" I trailed off, trying to get my shirt off.

"Jesus, have some situational awareness." He growled, trying to hold my shirt down.

"No, it's hot. Move." I pushed him to the side, getting my shirt off. "Help with the boots!" I flung my feet towards him. He clenched his teeth before helping me out of my boots and helping me out of the harness straps for my gear. There was no way I could do that on my own.

"Where are your pajamas?" He asked, opening one of my drawers.

"No pajamas." I flopped back on the bed, my legs dangling off. I was only in my pants and a bra and the Captain was far too uncomfortable with this situation.

"What do you mean no pajamas?"

"I don't wear pajamas." He turned and looked at me confused. "I like to be free." I giggled making the Captain turn a little red.

"I'm leaving." He stated turning towards the door.

"No!" I lunged forward, grabbing his shirt.

"Stop!" He grabbed my wrists pushing me back to the bed. He glared down at me as I pouted. His face softened a little after a bit. "Don't do this right now."

"Why not?" I stuck out my bottom lip. My drunk self not understanding the situation.

"You're drunk."

"I know!" I smiled. He shook his head, cursing under his breath. His grip tightened on my wrists as he hovered over top of me. If I was sober, this would never have happened, none of it. But here I was, a total drunk mess doing something I would never do. I slid my leg against his, propping it up against his hip. His breath staggered slightly, his eyes watching intently as I bit my lip.

"Alessa, I'm your Captain. I can't do this with my subordinate." He spoke slowly and softly, hoping I would get the picture. I couldn't help the feelings that started to overcome me. I wanted him here and now, which was entirely ridiculous since I've only known him such a short time and he was right, I was his subordinate. That didn't matter to my drunk self, though. This side of me was devilish, trying hard to get him.

"But…please…" I begged quietly. His grey eyes darkened over for a few moments, as if the carnal urges of a man were about to pour through him. But, they didn't. He slowly let go of my wrists, standing up and shaking his head.

"Go to sleep." With that he walked out the door, leaving me in the dark, spinning room unable to comprehend what exactly just happened. My drunken mind didn't let me sit on that thought for long, as my eyes grew incredibly heavy and eventually closed. The rest of that evening slipped into the black abyss of what was probably the deepest sleep I'd ever drifted to.


	4. Chapter 4

**As always I do not own AoT or any of the Characters except my own OC's. Minor edit in this one, probably not very noticeable. Hopefully you guys enjoy, please comment I always enjoy hearing from you guys!**

The pounding in my head and ears is what brought me back to consciousness. It took a few tries for me to gather my bearings and look around the room. A few minutes passed and I was finally able to focus on my surroundings. Next to the bed was a glass of water and some pills; it looks to be aspirin. The rest of the room was dark and quiet. When did I end up here? I grabbed the pills and gulped them down with the water, the cold liquid making my throat ache. I remember sitting and drinking with the Captain, and then...then it all hit me light a freight train. How embarrassing, to make a move on the freaking Captain while I was so sloshed. There was no point in sleeping now, especially with this headache. Standing up I realized I was still only in my pants and bra. Only…what the hell is that? I looked in the mirror I had on the wall, and low and behold was black marker. *Property of Erwin SMITH* written boldly across my chest. Rage bore through my entire body as it heated up in embarrassment, throwing my uniform on quickly. He's going to die. I will most certainly kill the Captain first before anyone else. He must've done this when he came back in to bring me the aspirin. I'm never going to drink again, especially since I have a big freaking mouth and do things I really wouldn't do sober. This was definitely the cherry on top for my horrible day yesterday.

Down the stairs I stomped, steam shooting from my ears I'm sure. I headed into the mess hall with every intention to throw anything I could reach at the Captain; at least that was until I walked into a completely empty mess hall. Not a soul was there. What in the heck? I made my way outside eventually finding a large group of people, Survey Corps and Military Police alike, all staring at what looked to be a left over fire.

"Alessa there you are!" Petra grabbed me dragging me forward with our squad.

"What the hell happened?" I stared confused at the sight in front of me. Were those titan corpses?

"Someone killed Hange's titans early this morning. No one knows who did it." Oh shit. I looked around at all the gloomy faces that watched as Hange screamed her lungs out, as if she lost her own children. She really was into experimenting on titans; I really didn't think it was to this extreme, although if I stayed and listened to her last night, I probably would know more about it. Erwin's sudden presence made me nervous. He had his hand on Eren's shoulder whispering something in his ear. As soon as he was done, he turned his gaze on me. At this point I felt like my shirt was unbuttoned for him to see the lettering across my chest. I knew he couldn't see it, but boy was it certainly accurate. He made his way over to me, most of my squad leaving me behind.

"You're pretty stupid to do this after the talk we had yesterday." I couldn't help but scoff.

"I have no reason to kill her pet titans."

"Sure you do. You're here to kill Eren, this could be just a warm up for you." I shot daggers up at those bright blue accusing orbs of his.

"I have an alibi." He arched a bushy brow now. "Why don't you ask your Captain." I may regret bringing him into the mix later, but I was most definitely not going to get thrown in a cell for something I didn't do. With that I watched as he made his way back to Eren, whispering something else, the look on Eren's face almost in utter shock. He turned his back on the two of us, leaving with the Captain at his side. I growled internally, desperate to punch that snub nosed gigantor in his face.

A few hours had passed since this morning with everyone's gear being checked if it had been used without authorization. I finally grabbed myself a cup of coffee, leaning against the wall of the castle not far from where Gunther and Eld sat discussing the situation from this morning.

"Tell me Eren, are there any of your friends joining?" Eren looked up from feeding his horse and nodded.

"There is." That's right, he had that girl, Mikasa and probably that blond kid from the trial. I forgot there would be recruits coming at some point. "Or rather there was, I don't know about now."

"Assemble!" We all shot forward, doing our military salute as the Captain rode in on his horse. Part of me wanted to flip him off for the writing I couldn't get off my chest, but I held myself in check for the sole reason that his face looked serious. Well, it looked more serious than it usually did.

"Get your things quickly, we're going on a reconnaissance."

"Yes, sir." The boys spouted, but I just nodded. Eren ran up beside us and saluted, yelling a good morning. I smirked at how innocent he was, though it faded quickly the moment Levi looked at Eren with such a doom-like expression.

"Let me be clear, Eren, don't fall more than two lengths behind me. Don't forget you're allowed to hang around because I am watching you." That's right, the Captain is playing babysitter. A slip up from Eren could mean death from Levi's front. I could not let that happen, even with Captain Levi knowing my true intentions. With that we grabbed our stuff, hopping on our horses and following close behind our Captain. This was it, a first mission with the Survey Corps' top dogs and Eren. We'll see how close things come to screwing up.

Once we were off our horses in a field clearing, Gunther went over our positions again in the Reconnaissance. I stood off to the side, watching and listening for the most part. We had already been practicing like crazy, and I didn't feel like paying as much attention. My gaze caught the Captain's profile as he gently fed his horse, showing it a tenderness I've never seen before. He must like animals more than humans. I held back the smirk that wanted to show. Gunther and Eren's conversation brought me back to the reality in the circle.

"Do you understand the question the Commander asked you?" It must've been when he whispered to Eren back at the site of the dead titans. I listened intently as the thought of this expedition having an underlying meaning to it was a possibility. Erwin was definitely one for hiding things; it wouldn't surprise me if there was another purpose for this. We initially were going to do an expedition in a few weeks, but those plans hit an abrupt halt for this immediate expedition. It didn't make much sense, but whatever was happening gave me a tight knot in the bottom of my stomach.

"That will be all for today's training, let's head back." The thought of having to trust the Commander didn't sit well with me at all. Did these guys not know what a conniving man he really was? What trustworthy commander blackmails people and doesn't tell his squads the real reason of the mission? Then again He didn't trust me and found proof of that, so I guess the blackmail was off the table, but even still, I didn't trust the Commander one bit.

We made it back to the castle, Levi sending Eren to clean the stables, while the rest of us had other various jobs. I got stuck with dishes from breakfast. Seeing the piles of dirty plates made me remember I didn't get a chance to eat today. My stomach growled angrily at the realization of being neglected. I decided to have a snack before starting the dishes. Finding some bread and grabbing a glass of water, I began to snack while enjoying the peace and quiet of the kitchen. It took a while but I finally got through the mounds of dishes, heading back outside just as the recruits made their way through. I stood next to Oluo and watched as Eren ran up to his friends. Mikasa looked so worried as she fussed over what the Corps could've done to him.

"That twerp's too full of himself." Mikasa's face turned menacing at the thought of Levi kicking the shit out of Eren. "One day I'll give him what he deserves."

"You're not talking about Captain Levi are you?" Eren asked and I let out a loud 'HA' at the fact that she called Levi a twerp. Oluo nudged me roughly for laughing.

"You're short too you know." He whispered making me glare at him. Ruin my happy moment why don't you. Levi walked past us with his horse, his eyes meeting mine with a slight glare. I think he heard all of that. I glared back, holding my shirt where the lettering was. A faint smirk passed over his face, knowing very well what he did. I had to think of a way to get him back.

"Tea?" I asked everyone at the dinner table. The recruits sat elsewhere talking with Eren, so it was just the main core of Squad Levi. Everyone spoke their preferences and I acted nice enough to bring them their tea. Levi's glass was last, a giddy feeling taking over me. I had to do everything in my power to stay calm. He was certainly going to get his payback. I stood next to Petra, taking a sip of my own tea, glancing sideways waiting to see the Levi drink from his cup. And there it was, the hand on the cup, slowly bringing it to his lips. The moment the hot liquid entered his mouth, his eyes practically popped out of his head in surprise. Immediately the tea was spit back into the glass and partially everywhere else. Laughter bellowed from my body that I had to set my tea down just so I didn't spill it.

"Oh my god what did you do?" Petra asked, the whole table staring back and forth between the disgusted Captain and my happy face. If he wasn't going to kill me for everything I brought up to him the night before, he was probably going to do it now.

"Salt." I replied through my laughter; Levi's eyes tearing my soul apart. That's what you get ass, for writing on me. I proudly strutted my way to my seat, the squad trying desperately to hold in their fits of giggles. As soon as I went to sit, Levi kicked my chair hard, sending it flying and leaving me free falling to the floor. Now the entire table howled at the sight of me covered in my tea that spilt all over me. Levi stared down at me, a flash of amusement on his face. I pulled myself back up from the floor, making sure to slide his glass quickly towards him. The hot tea landed in his lap just as he was trying to jump back. He growled at me as I flashed a mocking smile at him.

"Pay back is a bitch isn't it." I stated quietly as I passed him so no one could hear.

"Oh, it really is." His voice was cold and threatening, and I couldn't break the giant smile I had plastered to my face. I left to clean myself up of the tea, coming back to the mess hall to actually eat my dinner hopefully in peace this time. Petra smiled, entirely amuse by the back and forth the Captain and I had. I glanced around the table, thankful the Captain wasn't there, before plopping in my seat.

"What the heck was that about?" She asked shaking her head.

"Nothing, just wanted to get back at him for being such an ass all the time." I shrugged, not daring to get into the situation from last night.

"I'm surprised he didn't kill you for that." Oluo stated, sipping his tea. "I was almost certain he hated you."

"I'm sure he still does." I dug into my dinner, enjoying the savory potatoes.

"You're sure I do what?" Levi sat down in his seat having cleaned up as well.

"Hate me." He stared at me a moment before shrugging.

"I wouldn't say I hate you; it's more like I tolerate your presence." I widened my eyes, sarcastically acting surprised.

"Look guys, I'm moving up in the world! It's my dream come true." Levi flicked a pea at me as the rest of the squad and I laughed. For never making friends and being so high strung in the MP's, it was such a relaxing feeling to sit amongst people and genuinely laugh. No mask on, just playful teasing amongst comrades. Comrades…my laughter died down at the thought. Even though they have no idea who I really was, could I even consider myself a comrade? Do I even want to? I've been here for such a short time, but it feels like forever. Light nerves bubbled in my stomach now; these people made even me feel comfortable amongst them. In just a few short weeks I am able to laugh with them as if I was one of them. This isn't possible. I shouldn't be letting my guard down so easily.

As the table talked amongst themselves, I quickly shoveled my food down, anxious now to get out of there. I had to remind myself that I am not one of them. I am Alessa Evans, Captain in the MP's and daughter to the Evan's family name. I had a place and a purpose and it wasn't here. As quickly as I could without anyone noticing, I left the table, hurrying my way from the mess hall. Air…fresh air. Stepping outside into the night, I took a few deep breaths. Who the hell are you Alessa? Do you even know anymore?

"Something bothering you?" The Commander's voice made me jump about 60 ft. I placed a hand on my chest to steady my rapid breath.

"Jesus, what the hell do you want?" I turned to the tall blond towering over me.

"Tonight, I want you to write back to Commander Dawk and Jason." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Fine, will that make you go away?" He chuckled, though I know he wasn't necessarily amused.

"I asked Captain Levi what your alibi was." I arched an eyebrow before turning my gaze from him and out to the night sky. "It seems he had no idea what I was talking about."

"Of course not." I sighed and shook my head. He wasn't going to tell Erwin because it would get him in trouble. Drinking with his subordinate and almost sleeping with her, yea, like he would've just said that. "Honestly Commander, if you suspected it was me, I feel like I'd already be jailed." He didn't respond to that statement, instead his eyes narrowed and he watched me curiously.

"Why would Levi know your whereabouts last night?" I turned and stared at Erwin, my annoyance level capping quickly.

"He didn't, but it made you leave me alone for a bit, didn't it?" Even if it made me look guilty, I couldn't rat on Levi, especially with as much as he knew about me. It really wouldn't end well.

"Interesting…" He began to walk back towards the castle, freaking finally. I watched as he disappeared through the castle door, my mind rattling with so much. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I let my guard down so easily, especially around Levi? I need to get my shit together, I'm better than this, no more letting my wall down and acting like an amateur. If I don't get my shit together, I might as well turn myself back to my family for more conditioning for the sole fact that I've really lost myself here. I turned on my heel after a few more minutes outside, heading to Erwin's office. He stood, hands behind his back and staring down into the orange flames that danced away in his fire place.

"So how should we do this?" I asked, plopping down in one of the leather chairs.

"First, tell Dawk that everything is going well, and that you will tell him more within the next few weeks because of your upcoming expedition. For Jason, I want you to tell him that you will no longer be speaking to your family and that you finally have a chance to be free from them. Make him think you joined more for your freedom than to kill Eren."

"Look, that makes no sense; he was there when the discussion of me killing Eren came about. Him and Dawk talk frequently." Seriously Erwin, that's just dumb…

"No it's perfect. Give them separate information. You're closer to your brother so he'll believe you over what Dawk tells him." I stared blankly at Erwin. Was he for real? I have to play both sides of the fence and make them think I'm a traitor? Well this was really not going to end well for me. I sighed and held out my hand for a pen. I agreed to it so I might as well; I really hope Erwin knows what he's doing. The thought of training earlier popped in my head when Gunther mentioned he trusted the Commander even though he didn't tell anyone what the expedition was really about. Everyone trusts him. Should I? I couldn't let that thought go as I scribbled the two letters, immensely regretting the situation I had gotten myself in. If only I just stayed put, none of this would be happening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alrighty, here's chapter 5. I hope you all enjoy, and as always I do not own AoT or any of the characters except my own OC's. Please comment, I really do enjoy your feedback, and thank you to those who have favorited and follow this story, as well as those who have commented. It really means quite a lot and keeps me motivated to writing more chapters sooner!**

 **P.S. Brunevde - thank you so much for your continuous support and help with bouncing these different ideas. Without you the past couple of weeks, I would've still been stuck and pissed off with the results that I was coming up with. You sir, are a life saver.**

Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong. The bells chimed loudly around us as the Corps sat waiting on their horses. The titans have been cleared out in the surrounding area, and now it was our time to get this expedition situated. There were children staring from windows as well as many people watching us from the crowd. My hands clenched the reigns of my horse nervously, this being the first time I've ever left the comforts of the walls. This was it, I may have to kill a titan or two, if I'd even be able to.

"Hey no worries, we got this." A whisper from Petra came my way. I nodded, though I couldn't get the shakes in my chest to stop. In a time like this, I was glad she was at my side. Having probably the only person I trusted here made doing something like this far easier. I stared ahead, the jet black hair of Levi catching my attention. It was probably nothing for him to go out on an expedition. Humanity's best chance of survival, looking so nonchalant as always, was babysitting the shifter Eren on his first expedition as well. I had to keep myself sane otherwise I could jeopardize everything. This squad had enough on its hands with the potential threat Eren provided; I couldn't be the one to mess that up.

"Just keep forward and listen to the Captain. Trust his judgement and his word and you will be fine." I smiled at Petra, my nerves calming a little.

"Thanks." I whispered back before she smiled and turned back on her horse. The worst part about this so far was just waiting to get out of those gates.

"The time has come!" The pit of my stomach got heavy once more. "From this moment, humankind takes another step forward." I bit my lip nervously, glancing around at something to keep me calm. And there, I found it. Rather, I found him. My brother off to the side smiling at me, made my eyes widen. This could be the last time I see that goofy smile. I think he realized that too because he crossed his arms over his chest, now standing stiffly and his smile faded completely. "Show us the fruits of your training!" Everyone around me lifted their fists or weapons to the air, cheering, completely ready to show what they had. I for one just turned my head forward, gritting my teeth at the thought of whom and what I was leaving behind. "Open the gate!" And here we go.

"Move out!" I could faintly hear Commander Erwin yell. Off the horses started, walking, trotting, and then galloping. We moved swiftly, my eyes glancing up at the gate as we rode under it. Goodbye, everyone. I set my eyes forward now, though loud crashing had my head jerk sideways. Barreling around the destroyed buildings was a huge titan. My gut clenched, but the sight of the beast, but again Petra was the one to calm my nerves.

"Just keep moving, the others will handle it." I nodded to her, doing my best not to watch the titan. We continued to rumble forward as one large mass, finally splitting off into our formations. Now it was just us in our small group, supposedly in the safest part of the formation. I couldn't help but get lost in my own thoughts; the rumbling of the horses moving forward soothing my mind.

Amongst the enemy, everywhere I turn. From the people, to the beasts; all of them were enemies. Technically, that is. From the wind catching Levi's dark hair, whipping it around wildly, to the terrified green eyes attached to the young titan shifter. This would the ideal place, if any, to carry out my mission. Even though I haven't gathered any real Intel on the boy, I should just take care of it here. I need to show my loyalty to the MPs and my family. Erwin, the snake, was riding where I couldn't see; I should target him too.

The drumming of the hooves helped me think about everything that had happened these last few weeks better than my quiet room back at HQ. I could clearly see what I needed to do, but there were a few hurdles to deal with. I couldn't let them catch me, so if it was to happen, then I would need some serious chaos in order to do it. Secondly, Levi. The one who threatened to kill me if he knew my true intentions, and yet here I was, an open book for him to read, and for some reason he still did not throw me away like yesterday's trash. How could he sit there on that horse of his, with his back to me, knowing what I had intended to do? Not just that, why did he let me go? He hasn't even scolded me for it as a matter of fact. My eyes narrowed at the back of his head.

It's true, though, that I had admitted that Eren was a nice kid and that I didn't want to kill him. Since I had shown up, he's been nothing but kind to me and everyone around him. It could be only for the fact that he's a shifter and doesn't want everyone to be uncomfortable, but part of me thinks he's genuinely a nice kid. Maybe that was why Levi didn't do anything yet; or maybe he was just being friendly? My jaw clenched as we pushed forward. No. It was my duty to kill Eren, and God knows Levi doesn't make friends. Comrades' maybe, but no way that man has real friends. I had a job to do, and killing Eren was that job. No more acting like a little bitch about it. My head was finally screwed on straight, and I was not going to let anything get in my way. A loud bang pulled me back from my thoughts. I looked up at Oluo who shot off a green flare into the air.

"I have a report!" A man's voice yelled riding up to our group. "It's a verbal message! The search squad on the right flank suffered a devastating blow!" Seems like the chaos I need might be coming sooner than I thought. "They have lost the ability to scout the enemy! Please relay this message to the left flank!"

"You heard him, Petra. Go!" With Levi's words came Petra's nod and departure. The one person in this group whom I trusted enough may not be here for the devastation I may cause soon. Good.

"Black smoke? A variant?" We all turned our heads to the right at the sight of the black smoke. Hopefully this chaos I hoped for wouldn't be too chaotic that it gets in my way.

"Eren, you fire it." Levi's voice called out. Eren agreed, firing his flare. From the looks of it, things weren't going well around us. If those titans make their way towards us, my plans may be put on a back burner. I growled internally at the thought of letting this opportunity pass me up. Ahead of the forest outline grew larger as we approached. Maybe this opportunity won't get passed up after all. Into the forest we rode, the view growing darker with the increasing number of trees.

"Captain! Captain Levi!" Eren called out.

"What is it?"

"What? This is a forest! If only the center column enters the forest, we won't be able to see Titans coming! They seem to be coming from the right. How are we going to avoid the Titans and protect the supply wagons?" He had a point, but honestly Eren, what do you have to be afraid of. You can turn into a titan, I'm pretty sure that you're more of a threat to us than they are.

"Stop whining about the obvious. There's no way we can do that anymore." I was so wrapped up in my own head, I hadn't realized the plan had changed. Although, was that even the original plan anyway?

"Wh-why?"

"Look around you, Eren, at all these uselessly tall trees. It's the ideal environment to make use of our 3DMG." Basically it'll make it easier to cut you down, Eren. Now think with that mediocre brain of yours. Think really hard if you don't want to die." But, it will also make it easier for them to protect you too, kid. Eren glanced around at everyone in our group, all of which were wrought with fear. His eyes landed on mine, and I couldn't help but give him a wink. With all of the thinking I had been doing, I didn't give myself time to dwell on the impending doom that was following us. He turned back on his horse, probably to think more about what the Captain had said to him. My eyes glanced to Petra, who gave me a nervous look. We must really be in trouble.

A gunshot sounded behind us, and the sight of the black flare made my nerves twist slightly. Now I was certainly getting uncomfortable with how close these titans were getting. I agreed with Eld, whatever it was, it was what came from the right flank. Whatever it was, it was moving quickly too.

"People, draw your swords." Ah shit…"If it shows itself, it'll only be for a moment." No, I change my mind, I don't want to face a titan. My hands grasped my sword so tightly that my knuckles began to turn white. The sound of Maneuvering Gear behind us made my stomach completely drop. I turned to see one of the Corps guys in mid-air, and it was as if time slowed down right then. The booming footsteps of a titan came up so fast that I couldn't even blink before she was on us. Her hand came out smashing the Corps soldier, killing him instantly. Blood and death don't bother me, but the sight of a titan that size, with that intense murderous look doing it certainly made my stomach turn. Shit, we need to get out of here. From the looks of this titan, she wasn't just a normal titan, she was intelligent and she seemed to know where she was going.

"Move it!" Levi yelled, all of us following him as quickly as our horses could run. The female titan's feet pounded away behind us in full sprint. She jumped partially over us, her hand swiping down towards Eren. Luckily she missed, but the debris from the tree she smashed fell around us. Holy shit, what I wouldn't give to be back inside the inner walls right now. I clenched my jaw tightly, wishing I'd be back home in my warm bed right now.

The titan gained her momentum again, pursuing us closely, and from the looks of it, her eyes were set on Eren. Wait a second…she must know who, or at least what, he is. She's here to kill him I bet. Well at least someone was about to do it.

"There's no way to run from it in this forest!" Gunther yelled out.

"It's gaining on us!"

"Captain! Let's switch to 3DMG!" Petra called. Yes, can we please get the fuck out of this situation?! "Captain!" Reinforcements swung in behind the titan, working hard to keep up with her pace. One of them shot his cable towards her but she managed to move out of the way, grabbing it instead and smashing the soldier into a tree with her shoulder. Holy mother of…She quickly grabbed the cords of the other soldier, killing him instantly and tossing him to the side. I do not want to be here, I do not want to be here. Humming these sayings to myself didn't help a damn thing, and yeah I felt like a bitch in this situation, not the mean type but the terrified type. Anyone in this situation would feel the same with something like her chasing us.

"Captain! Your instructions!" Everyone was hysterical now, freaking out at would could be our deaths any minute. Levi kept silent, his face forward, just pushing on. Come on, you can't be that crazy. Everyone, including myself kept calling after him. Damnit what the hell are we supposed to do?

"Captain, please!" I begged. You damn bastard say something.

"Cover your ears everybody." Uh…what? Of course I didn't react in time, my ears immediately ringing after the loud shot of the Captain's flare gun. God damnit, that's your big idea? No one is going to see that flare in this thick part of the forest. "Tell me, what is your job again?" The Captain turned to us. "Is it simply to surrender to your emotions of the moment? No it's not. This squad's mission is to do everything possible to keep this brat unharmed." His eyes met mine for a brief moment, as if telling me to keep myself in check for now. "Down to our last breath." His eyes came back to mine before turning back on his horse. I am not dying for him, sorry Captain. "We're going to keep pushing ahead on horseback. Got it?"

"Understood, Sir." Woah, woah, we're actually going to listen to him? Glancing around at all of the determined faces made me sigh. Shit, I guess we are in this aren't we? And here I thought they were loyal lapdogs to Erwin. It seems when Levi speaks, they are willing to die by his word. I shook my head, though I know it's just how loyal soldiers are. Captain, if they're really willing to die for what you say, then maybe you do have friends. That, or they are incredibly loyal soldiers.

Eren's hysterics started, and to my surprise, I was agreeing with the rest of the squad. Kid, I do NOT want to help take that bitch down, turn around and just go forward. The sounds of the crunching bones of the reinforcements behind me enforced my mental state. I don't want to be a crunched up bag of bones today. Eren's play by play was not helping anything at all. Just let the reinforcements die, this squad has orders to follow, and listening to you is not one of them. I can't believe I'm saying this.

"What are you doing, Eren?" Petra yelled. "You're only permitted to do that when your life is in danger!" Oh shit kid really? Don't you dare go titan crazy right now, I am in no mood for extra surprises.

"You're not in the wrong." Levi's voice chimed. Hey dickhead, that would mean us stopping to help him. "If you wanna do it, do it. I can tell, he's a real monster, and not because of his titan ability." I watched the Captain intently now. "No matter how hard he's restrained, no matter what cage he's put inside, no one can ever tame him." So does that mean I can kill him now, or are you going to take my pleasure and do it yourself? "Eren, our difference in experience is why we don't see eye to eye. But you don't need to rely on that. Choose, will you trust yourself? Or me, these guys, and the entire Scout Regiment? I don't know the answer to that. I never have. Whether I trusted myself or the choices of my dependable comrades, there was no telling how things would turn out. So just do the best you can and choose whichever you'll regret the least." I looked down at my horse that explanation of his getting caught in my head. A heavy, pitted feeling swelled in my chest. Even though that statement was directed at Eren for this situation, it rang loud and clear in my ears.

"Eren! Please trust us." Petra's voice rang as Eren nearly went with his original decision. I don't know what it is and this damn squad, or even entire Regiment, with this trust issue. Everyone trusted each other, or at least they said they did. But as it came down to these crucial moments, when some of us start to wavier, they push the issue. Trust us. Trust me. Trust him.

My eyes darted back up to Levi, his grey ones glancing back, catching me off guard. He was thinking it too wasn't he? Was he also subliminally telling me to trust him, and everyone else? Petra, who always came to my side when I stood off alone and away from everyone, constantly making me smile. Gunther and Eld, both of whom keep good conversation. Oluo, who even though he annoys the hell out of me, always makes me laugh with his stupid antics. Levi…who I drunkenly confided in and dropped my mask, by accident, for…Trust him? He's already seen through me. It was like when you hold a piece of blank paper over a drawing that you want to trace. If you hold it to the light from a distance, it's blurry, but the closer you get, the clearer the picture. He somehow could see those lines pretty clearly, and I was the asshole moving it all closer to the light.

The pounding feet of the female titan seemed to disappear as our eyes stayed locked. That's it. That's why he didn't kill me. He was putting his trust in me, his comrade, to do what was right. My mouth opened slightly, almost as if to say something, but I shut it quickly. What could I say to him? Thank you for trusting me? Screw you, I'm killing him anyway? Damnit, that asshole had to go and complicate things even further. Why should I trust you? I paused at that question. He didn't kill me and showed trust in me, and in turn it meant I needed to trust him, didn't it? I sighed, nodding at him. I understand now, and even though I may not like it, that unspoken agreement could be my saving grace. The Captain glanced back forward, and even though he didn't make any gesture of understanding, I knew we were on the same page.

"Eren, hurry and decide already!" Levi growled. Eren must've been lost in his own thought as well, but he finally said it; that he will go with us. Good boy.

Faster the titan ran, gaining even more momentum. She pushed forward hard, taking out more reinforcements. We barreled down the path, determined to out run her. Could that even be possible? Who knows, but I wasn't about to take my eyes off Levi to see the result.

Glimmers of metal caught my eye. Other soldiers? I glanced to my side and realized it then. This was the mission, wasn't it? Along our sides sat the rest of the Corps, in position behind wooden objects. They were going to take her down, and we were the decoys. Well shit.

"Fire!" Erwin's voice rang out, echoing in the forest. The shots of the harpoons sounded like cannons, piercing the female titan from all directions. But on we continued until the noise died down a bit.

"Hitch your horses a little further ahead, and then switch to ODM. I have to leave for now. Eld's in charge of the squad. Hide Eren a suitable distance away from that titan." Wait, no, I just agreed to trust you, I did not agree to trust everyone else. "Look after my horse." With that the Captain took off through the trees, and I couldn't even protest.

"Don't underestimate the might of the Survey Corps, idiot." Oluo called to Eren, but I couldn't help but laugh.

"Aren't you so intimidating?" I joked. Maybe…Hopefully…it would be okay after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Thank you to all of the readers who have read, favorited, and commented on this story. Due to a new mommy break, all my writing took a backseat. As of late, I have found my mojo to get back into the swing of things and will be updating as much as I possibly can. Sorry for the ridiculously long delay ._._**

Once we managed to get our horses tied up, Eren couldn't stop spouting from his mouth. I don't blame him though, Erwin and Levi both kept this from us, so that meant someone in the corps could be a spy. Even though it made sense as to why they kept most of us in the dark, it felt a little off putting that the commander was willing to sacrifice so many lives to find out who one person was. I couldn't help but sit quietly chewing the inside of my cheek. I had a gut wrenching feeling that I was going to get pegged in some of this blame in some way.

A guttural, monstrous scream belted through the air, putting us all off guard. Was that the titan we caught? Blue smoke rose from the tree line signaling retreat.

"That's our que, saddle up people!"

Everyone began checking their gas and adjusting their gear, getting ready to roll out.

"Oluo, Petra, I gotta hand it to ya, for someone who wet themselves their first time out, you've come along way!" Eld yelled as we swung through the trees.

"HA, that's amazing!" I blurted as Petra turned red and screamed in embarrassment.

"I thought we agreed never to speak of it again!" Petra yelled back.

"Don't worry Petra, I won't make fun of you too much." I winked, getting a nasty glare in my direction. The bickering continued, my giggles getting louder as we moved through the trees. A hooded figure raced beside us, catching us off guard. Gunter was the first to be hit; the hooded figured slicing him down and leaving him hanging upside down from the trees in one quick scoop. There was no way he was alive, that was for certain. Eren called out his name before realizing the inevitable. I grit my teeth, shooting my 3DMG towards the figure, quickly, though they were much quicker in escaping my advance.

"Who is that?" Petra yelled as the hooded figure came in behind us now. We had no time to react, all of us questioning if this was the female titan. Our suspicions confirmed as she transformed before our eyes, making our hasty retreat even that more serious. Eren tried his damned hardest to turn and fight but the bickering of this group and their trust kept up. Eld, Oluo and Petra turned to face the titan after convincing Eren to continue on.

"Alessa, keep Eren safe!" Eld yelled, as they began to attack the Titan. I nodded; the pit of my stomach heavy with the situation. I had 2 choices now…I could kill Eren now and could even blame it on the female titan…or I could keep him safe. I grit my teeth as the Levi Squad fought bravely against the titan, incapacitating her for the time being.

Eld attacked her face, the female titan biting him in half in an instant. Shit, we need to turn around. The crash of Petra getting slammed into the tree made my heart stop for a moment.

"PETRA!" I screamed involuntarily as I watched Oluo join the other fallen members of the squad. Eren and I both stood dazed for a moment taking it all in.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Eren screamed transforming before I could react.

"EREN NO!" I yelled, but he was already running in his titan form towards the female titan. Shit, shit, shit! I pulled myself up to one of the tree branches as the two titans started to battle it out. I had never seen anything like this, both of them completely feral as their fists swung through the air. I caught a glimpse of Levi as he came through the trees, his eyes locked on Petra's corpse. My heart sunk, this girl whom I've grown to befriend and cherished in my own way…she was gone that fast. The immense screams coming from Eren's titan gave me shivers, confirming how bad I needed to kill him. He could turn on any of us just like whoever the female titan was. His existence was too risky. I shot my 3DMG in his direction, moving as quickly as I could to wipe him out.

A hard kick to my side sent me flying sideways into a nearby tree. Captain Levi glared down at me, landing next to me, his sword at my throat.

"You will not touch him." I growled at him, knocking his sword away and lunging at him.

"He could kill us all! Don't get in my fucking way!" I screamed, swinging my own sword. He sidestepped me, hitting me hard in the back of the head, forcing me to my knees. I definitely saw stars for a moment.

"I told you not to get up. One more time and I kill you." His voice was cold and I could feel his sword against the nape of my neck. My eyes finally found their focus, Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunter coming into focus. My heart stung at the sight. I never cared for the death of people, mostly it was just what happened or needed to happen. My short time being here with the corps had proven that they had a tremendous effect on me if I was this distressed by their deaths. I could feel the hot tears stream my face, a foreign feeling that I definitely wasn't used to. I couldn't help but let out a scream as I punched the dirt. My tears fell from my cheeks, into the dirt; my hand throbbing slightly from the punch.

The blade that was once at my neck slowly moved away. I turned to look back at the Captain who also had a look of disdain. He truly cared for his squad, and he truly believed Eren would help humanity. For a cold natured ass, I couldn't bring myself to fight him right then. Both of our defenses down, enemies on normal circumstances, needing to fight together to survive this chaos brought upon us.

A loud bang snapped both of our attention back to Eren. The female titan let out a punch, decapitating half of Eren's titan head, and snapping a tree in the process. Levi and I stared surprised, as the female titan bit down on his neck, pulling him into her mouth.

"Eren, NO!" Mikasa's voice rang through the forest. She swung through the trees manically; determined to get Eren back. Levi and I sprang into pursuit, knowing Mikasa was going to get herself killed if she acted alone.

"Leave Eren alone." I didn't respond but I followed him regardless. As Mikasa went in for another strike, Levi managed to grab her.

"Maintain distance for now…" Eren may not have survived. Mikasa looked even more pissed, but she truly believes he was still alive. That meant that the female titan didn't want to kill him, but maybe wanted to turn him to her side. I now had even more reason to kill that boy.

The new plan of getting Eren out alive was going to be tough, especially if I didn't kill him myself. But, having Levi AND Mikasa there, my chances of survival were highly unlikely, so my only option was to help. Levi went about bringing her defenses down, but Mikasa being stupid went for her nape. I flew towards Mikasa pulling her out of there.

"He said don't take her down." I growled, as Levi sliced the female titan's mouth open, pulling Levi to safety.

"I get that you love him, but don't do anything crazy." Mikasa kept quiet, as we pulled out of there. We managed to get back to our horses and the rest of the corps, readying ourselves for the venture back. My eyes scanned the corpses that were there, landing on Petra. It felt as though I had a frog in my throat. I tried to swallow some water but the tears threatened another escape. I turned to my horse, a few stray tears pushing their way through.

"You really cared for them didn't you?" Levi's voice broke the sorrow silence.

"I don't know how you all did it, Captain. I've never felt emotions like this in my entire life." He stared at my face for a long moment.

"It means you actually have a heart. It's a shitty feeling, but cherish it." I looked over at him confused but he had already started to walk away. It was time to start our venture back. We rode fast, but the red flare shooting through the sky meant bad news. Shit, what could it be this time? We're out in the open…

Titans began to gain on us, many soldiers getting captured and eaten as they started to close the distance. What the hell is going on? I noticed the two dopes who were screaming earlier about getting their dead friend's corpse. You damn idiots! I thought to myself. How the hell were we going to get out of this…bodies flying through the air made me realize how. They were taking off the extra weight by dumping the bodies…

"PETRA!" I screamed as her body rolled over the ground.

"Keep moving." Levi's voice was harsh, but as I turned to argue, I saw it in his face too. It was not the decision he wanted to make. He had to do what was needed. I bit my tongue and followed back towards the wall. How in the world did they do this all the time? I heard many stories about the Survey Corpse, and a lot of it was about how they lose so many people and people questioning whether they were worth it. Now, to see them and what they go through…to see them lose their loved ones, their family and closest friends…I get it. I thought about my brother and what choices we would have made in these situations. Would we have been able to get through it? Would we have been better people for it. Guilt started to build in my chest as I watched Mikasa and Eren. Her concern for her childhood friend, her love, even with what he was, she had truly believed he was a good person. She believed in him and fought by his side to protect him with every ounce of her being.

I was starting to regret this decision. It was certainly easier to just torture information out of people and collect debts. It was easier to live day to day without much thought to the titans and people being eaten by them. I came here for a purpose and my purpose was starting to look stupid. I gripped the reigns of my horse tighter. I had no one here now that Petra was gone. She was my closest friend in this sea of emotions called the Survey Corps. I regret not truly getting to know her now. The only other person who knew anything about me was Captain Levi…and I couldn't help but wonder about what was going through his mind at this time. He could've certainly killed me in that forest and called it a day. Was he tired of people dying all around him?

We finally came to a quiet clearing, able to regain our bearings and regroup before the last stretch to the wall. Everyone was spread out; solemn looks etched into their faces. I found the one I was looking for though, walking slowly towards him.

"Captain…do you have a minute?" Levi looked up at me, the stress of the day wearing heavily on his face. This was probably the first time I really seen him have any sort of emotion. He didn't respond but I continued anyway. "How do you do it?" He looked a bit confused by my words. "How do you lose people so much and keep on doing what you do?" He took a deep breath, his hand gently caressing the neck of his horse.

"It's not easy, but the hope that we all can make a difference for the sake of humanity is what drives me. I want to rid the world of the titans and push towards a better future, and if people I care about die fighting that same cause, I would gladly lay down my life with theirs so long as we made a difference." I bit my lip, pushing myself to say my next sentence without crying.

"Captain…I'm sorry." His head snapped in my direction, eyes wide with surprise. "I'm sorry for everything…I don't want to continue what I came here to do, but I truly want to fight with you for your cause. I never understood what the Survey Corpse did, but now that I've been here and learned firsthand what you do and go through, please Captain, forgive me." The waterworks went full throttle towards the end of my apology. He stood speechless as I, the blubbering mess, broke down in front of him. He limped towards me, his hand on my shoulder now, his other hand pulling my face to look at him.

"I knew there was more to you." I attempted to smile at the compliment. "If you truly mean what you say then it's time we start trusting each other, right?" I nodded, wiping away my tears, probably looking like a wreck.

"Thank you Captain…"

"Just call me Levi." He patted my shoulder, excusing himself to finish a few more things. I took a deep breath making my way over to my horse. It was going to be an interesting adventure helping the Survey Corps full time and not returning back to the MP's. I only could hope that my family didn't come after me for my choices. I would also hope the Commander would let me stay too. My eyes travelled to the blue eyed giant as he barked orders and got the group ready to roll out.


	7. Chapter 7

_**MATURE CONTENT AHEAD. enjoy.**_

The march through the streets was tough to deal with. The whispers and comments of the townsfolk dug deep at each one of our cores.

"Excuse me, Captain Levi, I'm Petra's father, might I bend your ear for a moment before she sees us?" A sweet older man jumped into Levi's personal bubble, chatting him up about Petra's thoughts of marriage and her admiration of Levi. The look on his face was worse than before as he visibly tried his damnedest to keep looking forward; giving no response to the man. He was going to be a mess once he found out his daughter didn't make it back.

Townsfolk yelled out at the Corps as we passed, many of their words harsh and criticizing. You stupid fools, none of you could ever make the trek outside these walls and deal what these men and women deal with constantly, how dare you think like you have room to say anything to them. I grit my teeth, not saying anything for the sake of the people around, for if I did there'd probably be a fight. We made our way to the headquarters, finally gaining a few moments of silence.

I sat in my room, skipping dinner to stare at Petra's bed and belongings before they were removed to be sent to her family. Just the other day this girl sat before me giving me shit, and now she's gone. It was a darker and quieter place now that she was gone. I leaned my elbows onto my knees, running my hands through my hair. A soft knock came to the door, a few cadets entering quietly after I muttered a low 'come in.' They began to take her belongings out and in a matter of minutes there was no trace of her. A large blank space where her bed used to be, no second nightstand…the room suddenly felt bigger…lonelier.

A burst of rage hit me and I flew up knocking my nightstand over, panting as I began to grab anything within reach and trashing my room. Tears poured from my eyes as I grit my teeth, sliding down the little bit of wall space left that wasn't cluttered by my outrage. I held my hand over my eyes as I let myself cry as hard as I could. It wasn't fair. I didn't want to lose a friend this soon. I just started changing and enjoying the people around me, why did it have to be her? I cried so hard, I hadn't noticed the footsteps approaching me. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me up from the floor and startling me. I recognized the faint scent to be Levi as I stood allowing him to comfort me the only way he could. It took a few minutes for me to calm down, but he still held me tightly when I did. We stood there quietly, both of us feeling the pain of losing someone we cherished.

He finally released me, his eyes looking even more tired than usual as he stared down at me. I could feel the tightness from my tear stained face as it ached from my intense emotional outburst.

"Sorry…I'll clean up in a minute." I mumbled finally breaking the silence, staring any place but at him. This closeness between us was making me a little nervous.

"Take your time, I understand." His voice was gruff. He reached back for my face gently, pulling me to look directly at him. I blushed slightly realizing how close our faces were, feeling a nervous twinge in my stomach. Before I could react, his lips met mine, sending my mind rolling a million miles per second. My eyes widened as he pulled away slightly, realizing what he did. "Sorry…I just…" It was my turn to surprise him. I grabbed his shirt tightly, pulling him close as our lips met back together, neither of us asking for permission as our mouths parted letting our tongues wrestle aggressively. His hands, slid around my waist pushing me to the blank spot in the wall I was just previously at, pushing himself as close as he could. My hands made their way to his head, deepening the kiss, as his hands ventured up towards my shirt, practically ripping it from its buttons. I gasped as his lips left mine, one hand grabbing my hair roughly and pulling my head to the side as he bit down on my neck, his other caressing my chest through my bra.

I'm not entirely sure what came over me to allow him to do this, but it felt right; like I needed this right here and now. My hands pulled gently at his hair, as his caressing hand nimbly removed the clasp to my bra, pulling it and my shirt the rest of the way off and leaving me exposed. I shivered slightly as he removed his hand from my hair, making his way lower, biting and sucking on my exposed skin. My hands run through his hair as I fought back the moans that so desperately fought to be released. His hands quickly fought my belt, winning the fight as he hooked his fingers into the lining of my underwear and pants, pushing them off completely.

I couldn't hold back the loud gasp that erupted from my throat as his tongue found my tender spot south, pulling one of my legs over his shoulder. I couldn't help but succumb to the blissfulness of this man's mouth, my eyes slightly rolling back as I bit my lip, moaning lightly as he let his fingers enter into his play. I shot a glance down at him, his intense grey eyes catching mine and sending shivers through my body. It was almost enough to send me over the edge, but he stopped, standing up and pulling his shirt off.

I reached quickly for his pants unbuckling them quickly and desperately, my body practically crying for this attention. It didn't take long before he was naked and pressed against me, his mouth back against mine. His hands grabbed my ass, pushing me up on the wall, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. In one quick moment he plunged deep inside and I couldn't stifle the slight scream that came out of me. I didn't expect to feel completely stretched by him as I let the pleasure flow through my body as he thrusted. His lips came back to my neck, biting hard and forcing another scream from me as he tore into me with such intense carnal desire.

My hands gripped his shoulders tightly; my nails digging roughly into his skin. He pulled me from the wall, laying me down on the floor on top of a bunch of papers that had flown from the nightstand when I kicked it. My back arched as he found his way back inside, one hand on my throat squeezing slightly, his other hand gripping my hip and digging his fingers into my flesh. I grit my teeth, crying out as he slammed rough and deep; taking out every bit of aggression that he had in that moment. My body shivered again as electricity flowed through my veins with every thrust this man could give me.

"L…levi…" my voice was breathy as I was on the verge of losing myself to him. I didn't think he could get any deeper, but he certainly did, sending me into an explosion of ecstasy. His lips crashed into mine, silencing my loud cries as he thrusted to his release, the warmth filling me up immensely. We both panted heavily, sweat beading on our skin, glimmering with the moonlight that shone through the window. I didn't want this to end…but Levi stood up getting dressed rather quickly as I sat up, still weak from what just happened.

"Sorry, this was a mistake." His voice was low as he finished getting dressed.

"Wait, what?" I asked confused as he moved to leave the room. "Seriously? Levi..." He didn't stop as he opened the door, slamming it behind him as he left. I sat in the dark completely perplexed. What the fuck just happened? I finally brought myself to get dressed, questioning if that really just happened. What the hell did he mean it was a mistake? My heart grew heavy again but this time I pulled myself together. I quickly cleaned my room a bit before exiting to get some air.

First my friend gets killed and then that bastard used me to get sex and had the audacity to say it was a mistake. Damn…I scoffed storming outside into the semi brisk night. A loud commotion was coming from the gates making me sigh. There really is no place to just relax around here…I made my way over to see Jason screaming in the face of some of the guards out front.

"Jason? What the hell are you doing?" His eyes shot to me as he pushed past the other guards.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I stared at him puzzled before remembering the letter I sent to him explaining that I wasn't coming home.

"Jason relax, I can explain…" I started but, just like me, he's got major anger issues.

"NO I don't give a shit about your explanation. Do you really think I'm that stupid to believe you? And if you're serious, which you better hope to god you aren't, did you think I would stand by and let you be here by your damn self?" I sighed a small headache forming at my temples.

"Jason stop, I said I can explain so can you calm the fuck down already?" He didn't say a word but the rage in his eyes meant I needed to be careful what my next words were. "Look, I've been through a lot of shit here recently, and I can't really leave yet. Eren's still alive and…"

"You still haven't done your job? Alessa, seriously, come on…" I rolled my eyes.

"Jason it's not that simple."

"Explain to me, how is it not simple?!" Apparently our little tiff got quite a bit of attention and we hadn't noticed the commander and captain approaching.

"I've got a lot of shit on my plate; I can't just kill the kid and get away with it. On top of that, I promised I wouldn't." His eyes widened.

"You promised your new little friends you couldn't do what you were sent here to do? Why? Out of pity?"

"No…I've just come to respect them a great deal, I don't think it's necessary anymore." The commander and captain came into my peripherals and I sighed mentally. I seriously can't deal with this much emotion in one day.

"She's part of the Survey Corps now, you will back down soldier." Erwin's voice called out.

"The hell I will, she's my sister and an MP." Jason snarled towards a now smirking Erwin.

"Not anymore. She made her choice, I'm telling you to back down, now." Jason growled and looked at me for a long moment and sighed.

"They're not going to be happy when I tell them."

"I know…" My voice was low.

"You know what he does when he's angry." He was talking about our father.

"I know…" My hand reached to my most painful scar…

"You're my sister and I love you, but I can't protect you from this. You're on your own now." I stared up at my brother, my ultimate partner in crime, literally. I winced from his words. Was I making the right decision? Especially after earlier with the captain; this was all starting to be too much. Jason sighed loudly, turning on his heel to leave.

"What makes you think you are leaving?" Erwin spoke. Both Jason and I snapped our faces to the commander. I realized now it wasn't just them around us, it was a huge number of the Corps.

"Erwin what the hell are you doing?" I asked, but he didn't acknowledge me.

"Take him into custody and put him in the cells. He has vital information, don't let him out without my personal authorization." He commanded. Even Levi had a slight confused expression but masked it fairly quickly.

"What?! NO!" Jason yelled trying to fight off the soldiers grabbing onto him. It was to no avail, there was no way I could help him either.

"WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM DO THIS?!" I turned to Levi, screaming inches from his face. He offered his infamous "Tch" and turned on his heel to follow Erwin. "GOD DAMNIT YOU SHORT LITTLE SHIT!" I screamed following him quickly. He stopped short and I nearly ran into him.

"Shut the fuck up for 10 seconds," He almost whispered. "I don't know what's going on but shut up and let me find out."

"Right, cause you're not in on this…" I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not. We're supposed to start trusting each other remember?" He growled.

"I started to, til you said I was a mistake." I glared daggers into his cold grey eyes.

"That's different, you're not the mistake, what we did was the mistake."

"That makes no sense. Why was it a mistake?" He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

"I don't have time for this right now, just leave it alone. We'll talk later." I started to oppose but the look he shot me gave me a chill for some reason, so I stayed silent. "Stay here, I'll figure out what's going on." With that he walked off towards the cells.

I turned my attention to a set of picnic like tables a little in the distance and made my way over to them. What the hell do I do…? I sat up on the table part, staring up at the moon. Jason was right…this decision was probably going to get me killed, and not by a titan. By any normal standpoint, if anyone knew the things our father did, he'd be on the list of most psychotic in the city and probably in prison for the rest of his life. Our mother didn't care either, she was just happy to parade around in expensive jewelry. There was no love in our family…not normal love that families have. Love in our family came from commendations from our father when you did a job correctly. Killing the family of someone who skipped out on their debts…breaking the fingers and toes of hard working men and women who happened to see something they didn't mean to, just as a forewarning.

My stomach turned at the thought if it had been my father to show up instead of Jason. Now that both of his kids were in the custody of the Survey Corps and I was still battling whether or not I was going to stay. This place had made me so weak in so many ways…how in the hell do I rebound from that? I growled at myself for letting myself get in too deep. Why was I even mad that Levi said what we did was a mistake? I've used men to get what I've wanted before, why was it different this time around? We both needed the solace in the company of one another; I really needed to get these feelings in check.

I hadn't realized how long I had been sitting there, but footsteps approached and I realized Levi was standing beside me.

"What's going to happen to him?" Levi sighed quietly.

"He's going to be questioned about his involvement in the plot to kill Eren." I scoffed.

"He's not going to talk…you'd have to torture him, and even then…" I trailed off realizing what I was saying. I shot a concerned look at Levi who looked right back at me. His face didn't say it but I had a feeling. "You guys are going to torture him aren't you…?" He waited a moment before nodding. I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Of course you are, even though I'm here with all the same fucking information."

"Yea but do you want to end up in jail?" He snapped.

"I don't want my brother there either!" I snarled. Levi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Think long and hard about the road you want to take. You can't fight beside us from a prison cell, and we can protect you from whoever you think is going to come after you."

"You guys have no idea the types of people who are going to come after me. Sitting here, with all of you, is probably going to get us all killed, not just me." I sighed putting my head in my hands. What the hell was I doing? "What does it even matter to you where I'm at in all of this? You barely know me, why even waste your time?" I laughed as all of this was probably some sort of ploy anyway.

"Believe it or not, I do like you." I laughed loudly, but his face remained serious.

"If that's the case, why was it a mistake?" He rolled his eyes again.

"We just lost our friend, someone I cared deeply for. I found solace in your arms, but like you said, I barely know you. I didn't want you getting attached and thinking this was going to be some sweet relationship right away or something." I stared at him, humor all over my face.

"Look, you're great in bed…or well on the ground… but I'm not the romantic fall in love type. Sex is sex; I get needing a release when you're stressed. You just fail at life for saying it was a mistake right after the fact. At least let a girl savor the moment, even if it is for a moment." He smirked slightly.

"That makes sense." We both sat in the dark for quite a while before he broke the silence. "Want to make another mistake?" I couldn't help but giggle and shake my head.

"Not likely, Captain Levi. At least not tonight." I hopped off the table, making my way back to the HQ, my mood only slightly lifted.

"Let me know if you change your mind then." I smiled, noticing the faint smirk on his face as he walked beside me. I plopped on my bed when we finally made it back, the rest of our walk completely silent, thankfully. It wasn't long before the darkness took me and I let myself fall into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_**HI EVERYONE! PLEASE FAVORITE/COMMENT! IT REALLY MOTIVATES ME TO CONTINUE WRITING :) THANK YOU FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO ENJOY :)**_

My body felt like there had been a boulder crushing it when I woke the next morning. So many stresses within a day and there were only going to be more to come. My arm lay over my forehead as I stared up at the ceiling; sun rays beaming through the window and casting their light upon the wall. If this was under any other circumstance it'd be considered a fairly peaceful morning, but peace is only given to the blissfully ignorant bastards in those inner walls who don't have to worry about the titan threat nearly as much as those of us who fight the damn things on an almost daily basis. Even I can't say I fully understand what the Corps really goes through, and in all honesty, if I did, I'd probably almost as numb to the pain as they are.

I closed my eyes for a few more minutes, letting my mind wander to the events of yesterday. I had no idea what I was going to be able to do for Jason…he wasn't going to talk and now that he was in the Survey Corps' custody, he was probably going to hate me for life. This whole thing turned into the biggest shit show ever and it was only going to get worse. I groaned trying not to think about it anymore, turning to my side and hugging my pillow. I'd never been this emotional but being through this much shit this quickly really takes its toll.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind finally, glancing down to the floor. A few papers from the night before were still scattered, making my heart skip a beat. Why did the thought of the captain last night have me excited? My thoughts lingered at his fiery grey eyes that bore into mine from down below making me bite my lip. Why in hell…I chuckled to myself, placing my hands over my face. The way he moved etched into my brain, and though we didn't last long, the quality of letting loose was incredible. I fought every ounce of my being now to get up and get dressed and head to the dining hall. I needed to keep those thoughts out of my mind, though he did say to let him know if I ever wanted it again…I shook my head. STOP it Alessa, jeez.

I entered the busy dining hall, everyone not as chipper as they usually are, but for what we all dealt with yesterday, I'm surprised any of them are talking and smiling. I took a seat a decent distance away from most of the people I knew. I just wasn't up for talking, but Hange sat her ass right in front of me anyway as I started to eat my breakfast.

"Hey, are you okay?" I didn't mean to glare up at her, but my look was to say 'drop it'. She nodded, but continued. "Captain Levi told me what's been going on. I'm sorry about your brother, and Petra, but if you need to vent to someone, I'll be here to listen."

"Thanks but no thanks." I mumbled, biting into a biscuit, hoping she'd just let it go. She actually stayed silent for a while, eating her breakfast and letting me enjoy the little peace I had.

"We got summons to the capitol. It'll be in a few days." I glanced up a little confused. "The whole incident with the female titan, no one is happy. Once the MPs get ahold of Eren, we're going to be really limited in what we can do." I rolled my eyes, sipping at my coffee. Hange's face looked incredibly sad at the thought of losing her prize test subject.

"Those pesky shits never keep their noses out of shit." I mean I would know, I was one of them.

"You can say that again." An all too familiar voice approached. I glanced over at the semi casually dressed captain limping his way over to the table. For someone with a leg injury, he didn't seem phased by it last night. I had to look away before I started visibly chuckling; forcing myself to focus on sipping my coffee. He sat next to me, though his eyes kept to Hange.

"I just have a bad feeling…" she groaned. "I'll catch up with you later though; I need to talk with Erwin about a few things." I nodded, fidgeting with my cup slightly. I wasn't really sure what to say to Levi, if anything. A few minutes passed as he drank his tea before I gave in.

"How's your leg?" He shrugged; his face still emotionless as ever.

"I'll live."

"That's too bad; I was hoping to rid of you quickly." Sometimes the sarcasm just flows before I catch myself, but the slight smirk on his face meant he didn't care.

"It won't be that easy to get rid of me." I turned towards him fully now, his eyes catching mine.

"So what you're saying is I need to tie you up and torture you first? Like you guys are doing to my brother?"

"I can't say I wouldn't enjoy it coming from you." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my throat.

"Naturally, weird ass…" His faint smirk faded back to his serious emotionless face.

"Honestly, I didn't know Erwin was going to lock up your brother. I really don't know what his plan is, but when I find out I'll let you know. Just don't do anything stupid until then."

"I can behave…occasionally." I mumbled the last part before finishing my cup of coffee. His eyes darted to mine with a slight glimmer, and immediately, my mind went back to the night before. A small blush came across my face as I grabbed my dishes and left the table quickly before he could add anything to the conversation. I needed to get ahold of my thought process, though it wasn't easy. I remembered the first time I saw him, beating the crap out of Eren in the court room. I remember feeling antsy and wanting to meet him, shit I think I even wanted to kiss him. I bit my lip, tossing my plate into the sink, leaning against it as I tried to gather my bearings. What happened…it shouldn't have happened last night. I needed to stop this in its tracks before I allowed myself to falter completely.

"I didn't peg you for a shy person." His voice rang out as he approached the sink with his own dishes. I kind of chuckled to myself as he began washing his own.

"What makes you think I'm shy?" He finished washing his dishes, towel drying his giving me his usual expressionless face. "I'm not shy…I just have a lot on my mind." It wasn't totally false.

"What's on your mind?" He folded and tossed the towel on the side of the sink, his eyes never leaving mine as he waited for his response.

"Are you expecting me to say, you?" I smirked now, folding my arms across my chest. One of his eyebrows rose, as if to say 'you weren't'? I rolled my eyes at him. "You were right honestly, what happened last night was a mistake." He didn't respond, so I continued on. "It was too soon after Petra. I think we both just got lost in the moment." Levi nodded this time, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the sink. A small twinge in my heart made me realize I didn't like admitting it, but everything in the damn Corps moved so fast, it was hard to keep any of my emotions in check.

"I really wanted to dislike you, Alessa." I chuckled lightly. "A little fiery MP soldier trying to get her hands dirty and undermine everything here, and then you got a shock of what reality is like here."

"What is it you're trying to say…?" I stared at him a little confused, but knowing him there was a reason for what he was saying.

"Yesterday, you broke down and allowed yourself to be totally vulnerable in the place you probably felt you needed to constantly watch your back in. Not once, but twice. You're not this hard ass you seem to think you are." I cocked an eyebrow.

"You don't know me, Levi." I wasn't an easy person to read, and I definitely wasn't some softie.

"I only know what I've seen, and I've seen you drop your walls unintentionally on multiple occasions. You don't want to be the person you thought you needed to be." I glared at him now; how dare he sit here and act like he knows me. "Stop fighting it."

"You don't know shit." I scoffed, turning to leave.

"I do know, cause I've been through the same shit." I stopped and looked back at him for a moment. "I came here with different intentions too and after getting that smack in the face of what this place is really like, I managed to stop fighting it and just accept it."

"Just because you may have gone through something similar, doesn't mean you know what exactly I'm going through or what I want." I could feel the slight anger building inside me, but in actuality I didn't want to admit he was right. My pride, getting in the way like it usually does. "I let my guard down, you're right about that, but don't think it's happening again."

"We'll see." I clenched my teeth behind my closed lips, narrowing my eyes at him before storming out of the kitchen. He was so damn frustrating that he had me mentally screaming as I left. In retrospect, it was the second time he mentioned liking me. Damn you Levi, you pain in the ass, stop making this harder for me. I already agreed to be a part of the Survey Corps so I will still fight for you, but can you please not make me change completely from my norm? I sighed loudly, my feet pulling me in the direction of the holding cells.

"Let me in." I growled angrily at the MP soldiers guarding the entrance to the holding cells.

"Look Captain, I really want to let you in, but I really can't!" One of young girls tried to hush me so I wouldn't make a scene. The fact that they knew exactly who my brother and I were should've had them pissing themselves as it was, but they still tried to stay firm.

"You. Will. Let. Me. In. Otherwise, who knows what I might do to you in your sleep, child." My voice was menacing as I touched noses with the girl. She was shivering and certainly not from the cold.

"Y…yes ma'am." She muttered, the other soldiers knowing better than to object.

"Good girl, now I might consider not shoving bamboo sticks under your pretty little nails." Her eyes widened as she gulped, head down and moving out of my way quickly. A faint twinge of guilt hit my stomach and I mentally sighed. Damn it, just as I was enjoying getting back into the swing of the real me. I shook the guilty feeling quickly as I descended the steps, the torches barely providing enough light to see into any of the cells.

"Alessa!" Oh good at least he can see me in this dark ass hallway. "Get me out of here please!" Jason begged. His clothes were incredibly dirty for being in here less than 24 hours and his hair was a mess.

"Jeez, what the hell are they doing to you?" He leaned forward into the light more and I could make out the blood and bruises from his face. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I growled, ready to go kill whoever touched my brother.

"Stop, you know they were going to do it, I'm fine." He sighed, grabbing the bars with his blood caked hands. "This was just to prove a point for them anyway so it really wasn't anything that bad. Not like what Dad can do." I rolled my eyes, placing my hands over his.

"Jason, I don't know how to help you though. I pledged to help the Survey Corps now. With the situation I'm in I can't lose the little bit of trust I've started to gain from them." Anger flashed in his eyes now as he pulled away from the bars.

"So you're a fucking traitor now? Fuck family right?" His demeanor changing completely as he paced around the cell.

"No, just please let me explain." I took the fact that he stood still quietly, though still untrusting of what I could potentially say. I explained to him everything that I had been going through here since day one. Well…minus one factor. I left Levi out of the situation. He didn't need to know that; it would only cause him to turn all…weird and protective and brotherly, and god knows I don't need that right now.

"Shit Alessa, what the hell could start breaking you, seriously?" He let out a soft chuckle as he sat down on the small wooden stool in his cell.

"Thank you! That's what I'd like to find out." He sat quiet for a moment taking it all in.

"I get it, I really do, but you need to get ahold of Dad. He needs to get us out of here and we need to go back. Just chalk this up to a failure and go home."

"Jason…" I sighed, throwing my hands up in the air. "I can't ask dad for help because, like I just told you, he probably thinks I totally abandoned the family. And, if he does come to help, he is going to find a way to kill anyone here that gets in his way." Jason stared at me with a blank expression.

"So? You owe nothing to these people; you don't need to be here Alessa. You need to be back home, with people who know you." I could feel another lovely little headache forming, only this time behind my eyes.

"Jason, I don't want anyone here killed." I rubbed my eyes with one hand, trying desperately to rid myself of this pain.

"So I have to sit here dealing with this shit treatment because you for some stupid fucking reason decided to have a conscious. One of the things we were trained NOT to have." He waited for me to respond but I couldn't. I really didn't know what else to say. "Or is it that you just want on person in particular not to die?" My head shot up quickly and rather confused.

"What the fuck are you on about Jason, I said I didn't want anyone here killed." He stared at me for a good minute, like he was trying to find something hidden in my face.

"You said that the one person you really came to care for just died the other day. I would think you would have no one else you'd feel this strongly to protect now. So what? Is it that titan kid?" The look on my face must've been pretty amusing because he definitely got a chuckle out of it. I mean how else do you say 'what the fuck is wrong with you' without actually saying it? "At least it's not the shifter kid. I know you're hiding something though."

"What reason would I have to hide anything from you?"

"I don't know, but I do know you and I know when you keep things from me. You know damn well I'm right." This was true; I was usually incredibly honest with him because of the fact that he could tell when I was lying.

"I have nothing to lie to you about Jason." I sighed, trying to push past the subject.

"What the hell are you doing down here?" Levi's voice rang out as he limped his way down the hall, the anger lighting his eyes like a fire.

"I was seeing my brother." I crossed my arms, leaning against the wall. "You and bushy brows could've let me at any time but seeing as I had to threaten the guards, there must've been something you didn't want me to see." I put my finger on my lips and pretended to be thinking really hard. "OH, you know what, it must be the fact that in less than 24 hours you guys had the shit kicked out of him and not even for information! That must be it!" Sarcasm dripped from my voice as I stared at Levi. "You guys talk about trust but you sure have a lot to hide." Levi rolled his eyes.

"You need to get the hell out of here, now." He demanded, pulling onto my elbow.

"I'm not going anywhere until you explain to me what the hell is going on here." He clenched his jaw and gave his 'tch' as a reply. We both stood our ground, our glares bouncing back and forth for a good couple of minutes, neither of us wanting to waiver.

"It's him, isn't it?" Jason spoke, breaking the glare-off between me and Levi; both of us snapping our heads in his direction.

"What's me?" Levi sounded agitated and I didn't respond.

"So, you have a thing for Captain fucking Levi and that's why you won't help your own brother." Jason chuckled in disbelief. "You know, for a girl who's stooped to the lowest of lows in her life-time as was her job, this is pretty fucking low."

"I don't…" I began but Jason cut me off before I could protest.

"Stop fucking lying." He growled. "You know better than to keep that shit up with me." For the first time in a long time, I adverted my eyes from my brother's. He was right and I hated to admit it. Jason glanced over at an expressionless Levi, who kept his eyes on Jason. "I'm telling you now, if you so much as touch her, and I find out, I promise I will kill you myself."

"Too late for that." My wide eyes snapped to Levi in disbelief. REALLY?! YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT?! I'm pretty sure my insides felt like an atom bomb just went off. I couldn't say anything but look over to Jason, who's look was indeed murderous.

"You must really want to die you little shit." Jason snarled, though Levi's face remained unfazed. Levi tilted his head slightly and I realized he was taunting Jason now.

"Remind me to tell you about it the next time I pay you a visit." My eyes narrowed at Levi…did he just say he's the one who did this the first time?

"Go ahead, though next time why don't you be a man and leave me untied."

"Wait a second," I growled, "Levi…were you the one that fucking did this to him? And you had the fucking audacity to tell me you 'didn't know what was going on,' all after you told me to start trusting you?!" It felt like a fire storm just surged through my body as I spoke. Levi glanced to me, but his ever unchanging expression had me burning alive.

"Go upstairs, cadet." His voice was cold as ice and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. My sucker punch landed a direct hit to his face. He recovered incredibly quickly, grabbing me and throwing me towards the door. I stumbled slightly but realized he would've done worse but the pained expression on his face, and his hand on his leg from his injury the other day meant he wasn't going to really fight me.

"Guards! Get her the fuck out of here. She does NOT leave her fucking room." He growled as a bunch of guards came grabbing me forcefully. I fought back, throwing a few of them to the ground before they managed to subdue and drag me back to my room. Levi wiped the blood from his mouth 'tch-ing' as he saw there was blood on his shirt too.

"Screw you, you lying piece of shit. Don't expect me to ever fucking trust you!" I yelled, flailing the best I could to try and get out of the guards' grasp, still to no avail. Screw you, Levi, and screw the damned Survey Corps.


End file.
